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Single mom and dating: need some advice and maybe a hopeful story or two.

I haven't dated at all since me and my ex (also my sons father) broke up in Oct 08, i just focused on myself and my baby. My son is now 7 months now. Lately I've been thinking about dating again,well not really dating, thinking about starting a relationship. I've just been thinking about it. The thing is I was really hurt by my last ex and i'm afraid of being with the wrong guy that might hurt me son. I hear horror stories on the news all the time about a boyfriend hurting or killing their girlfriends child. I don't want to be alone forever but i dont know how to date as a mom ,if that makes sence. If you have advice i need some. :/

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Asked by MamaFLgurl at 8:16 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (5)
  • Oh Sh&t! No wonder you've waited. I woulda too if I heard those stories.
    First, think, do you want a serious relationship? I mean do you really want to look for a serious relationship? (This is where you say YES YES! LOL) Ok then, now make a list of the perfect man. Include EVERYTHING that the perfect man should have, even if you think it's superficial (include it). Don't do this in one sitting. Go back to your list every now an then and add or edit. This list should describe YOUR PERFECT MAN. (DO NOT...think of previous relationships as you do this. For example, enjoy spending time with my friends**cuz Ex hated it. Instead, enjoy spending time with my friends cuz that's what I WANT in a perfect man)
    Next revisit your list after you've created the perfect man on paper and separate it into what's the most important and the least important.

    Answer by Vero0724 at 8:28 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Now, this is the important part. When you decide you're ready to dive in and date remember your list.
    When I met SO, it was crazy how much he fit what I had listed. I don't think I woulda gone out with him b4 cuz I was going after the wrong guys. Instead I met someone who values me, respects me and is who I believe to be the perfect man/father :)
    (Not to bust the bubble but gotta be honest, I wasn't a sgl mom, but a desperate basketcase :P)

    Answer by Vero0724 at 8:32 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Yes i want a serious relationship with a good man that will be a good male figure for my son. I'm just afraid i'll get hurt and most of all my son will get hurt.

    Answer by MamaFLgurl at 8:34 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Make sure you spend a lot of time getting to know him before you ever have him around your son. Take things slow, don't jump into a relationship with the first guy you go out with.
    Some people say they need the guy to meet their kids so they know how he will react to/with them. I knew my dh so well by the time I introduced him to my kids that I KNEW how he would be with them, and they with him - they are great together and I knew they would be. My dh and I started out as friends and I truly think that's the best way. We weren't trying to impress one another, we were just hanging out learning about each other. Good luck!

    Answer by missanc at 8:57 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I know this guy who has been seeing this girl, not too serious, for two years. He has never met her son. She has her reasons and I am positive she wants to make sure she is serious about someone first. There is no reason a kid needs to meet the flings that might be out of his life as soon as he gets attached.

    Answer by Geminus at 10:08 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

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