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Should I get involved at all even if they're not my kids?

My house is the "hangout house" with my kids, so i know all of their friends very well, they are like my 2nd kids. My 18 yo son Cam has a friend named Tyler, who he has been best friends with since he moved onto our street when they were 6, My 16 yo daughter Ashley has a friend named Megan, who she has known for about 5 years. A few nights ago, Cam and Ashley had friends sleepover and i was in the basement, where we have a spare bedroom. as i was going upstairs, the door to that room was open and i saw Tyler on top of Megan on the bed, and they were making out!it looked serious too. i didn't know what to do, since they weren't my kids i couldn't really tell them what to do, and i was so shocked my the whole thing i could barely speak! they didn't come up until hours later, making me wonder...
my questions are.. what do you think i should have done when i saw them ?what should i do next?should i set some house rules?

Answer Question
 
xxDianaxx

Asked by xxDianaxx at 9:26 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I would have told them "not in my house".
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 9:27 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • i ditto the above poster - you aint doin the dirty in my house
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:28 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Absolutely set your house rules. You are ultimately the one in charge when other kids come to your house. You might have knocked on the door to let them know you were there or said something to them to let them know that was not okay in your home. You don't have to stop being the cool mom, but you do need to set boundaries you are comfortable with so that your basement does not become the neighborhood "Lovers Lane."
    neebug3766

    Answer by neebug3766 at 9:32 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Yup, your house, your rules.

    It's not going to be a big deal. You're established as the cool mom. Just lay it out as facts, not a big dragged out thing. They'll respect you.

    I'd just say, "Hey guys, no making out in my house. Or other stuff. Got it?" And they'll say yes.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 9:36 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Id be pretty upset if I found out that my child was doing such things at another kids house, and the mom let it slide.......
    Not that you have to tell the parent, but dont allow it in your house
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • They're not your kids but that's your house! Whats your relationship with the parents? I've got friends and I see their kids all the time (even the bitchy single mom that has a huge problem with me being married, lol) and I kind of think of them as my second kids. If I saw them making out...or anything...I'd freak, lol. Thank God they're only two! I'd tell them that it can't happen again, if it does, parents will know.
    metalhealthmama

    Answer by metalhealthmama at 9:49 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • They were at your home, using your bed for their sexual adventures. You have every right to tell them that they cannot do that in your house. You should've intervened and told them to behave themselves. You see them as your second children, you've known them for years. I'm sure that they see you as a adult figure they can trust. You have every right to sit them down and let them now that, that won't happen in your house. Then talk to them to make sure of they are having sex that they need to use protection, etc. You may not be their parents, but they're using your home to do whatever it is they did. You let that happen, that's not right to let that happen.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:54 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • They aren't your kids, but it's your house, your rules. Maybe you could have your son say something to them so they know the rules and you don't have to feel uncomfortable talking to someone elses kids.
    newmomma14

    Answer by newmomma14 at 11:01 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I think you need to get all the kids together, yours and all the kids that hang out there, set some house rules. Make sure they understand and agree with the rules in order to continue to hang out there.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 11:14 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • It is your house, you get to make the rules. Boys and girls stay in separate rooms.

    I would also make sure that all of the parents know that you are having mixed gender sleepovers at your house; I would not let my daughter sleep at your house if your son was having friends over the same night.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

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