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In-law favoritism

My DHs family does more for my sd then my two dds. Now my youngest is my dhs so she is actually their blood. I dont know what to say to them or how to handle it. Ive spoken to my dh about this and he says just to not do anything with them. I dont think that fixes the problem. I feel like something needs to be said. I mean they yell at and punish my two dds but not my sd. Also, they are always trying to take sd places and leave the other two home. Which we do not allow but they talk about us like we are wrong for that. The last thing which is purely selfish is they buy bigger and better presents for my sd for b-days and x-mas. I feel like they just ignore my two dds. What should I do and how should I handle this. For the record I told my family the my sd was to be included in everything and that what you do for one you do for all three. They are cool with it. Need advice. My dhs family is soo controlling.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:13 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Yeah, that's not right. Favoritisim is never good especially to an obvious point. I don't know what you can really do if you've already talked to them and they don't seem to change it. My first son isn't my husbands biological son, but he has taken him on as his own and his family has done the same. Something needs to be done to protect the other kids feelings, maybe sometime more extreme like refusing them to take your sd anywhere until they can be fair to all of the kids. No matter what way you go, a kid may feel hurt, but maybe that would resolve it and the hurt feelings for your sd will be short lived.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:28 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • Don't let them pick and choose like that. If they can't treat the whole family fairly then they don't need to be around too much. Your dd will suffer if you allow it to continue to happen. And them trying to make you feel bad for your decision is wrong and should be left as their problem. I know it's hard. I'm going through something similar. My mom doesn't have favorites but do to her feeling bad and always catering to people who need help she neglects us and spends way more time with my SIL's kids than mine and because of that one of many other reasons, I don't really want to be around as much for the sake of my own kids. If grandparents can't act in a fair manner and choose to show resentment for the decision you're making, as hard as it is you have to stand firm.


    Answer by SylviaNCali at 11:37 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I think you are wasting way too much time and energy on this. You can't change how they are. Just keep them away from your children if you don't like how they treat them.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:20 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • i know exactly what u mean last year for christmas my boyfriend wanted to spend christmas with his family even though i dont get along with his mama well she got my step daughter a Ipod my step son a gitar hero nothing 4 my daughter that is not my boyfriends but has raised as his own and a packof gum and some chips for my 2 yr old that is his my step kids even knew this was wrong and there 7 and 8 yrs old when we left we left without eny of the gifts and this christmas we had a wonderful christmas with my family even though my step kids were with they mama this year and my family knew this they had there gifts to open when they got home the next day

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Well, if you have talked to them, and they don't listen, then just tell them they can't take the sd anymore. Period. Put your foot down, and keep it there. Eventually you will get them to listen to you, and they will realize that they are wrong, and being very rude jerks.

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 2:25 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • You can't change them. So you accept it, or stay away from them. I'd stay away. If you want to tell them why, go for it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

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