Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

do you ever feel like your husband or so isn't as attracted to you as he used to be?

i've been feeling like that a lot lately. he hasn't really given me a particular reason to feel this way, i just do. i feel like when we met in high school he didn't know , i guess i didn't know either, what he was getting into, he didn't know that 7 years later i would look like this. i feel like a disappointment. when we met i was 14 and maybe a size 10. now after having our daughter i am close to a 16, and i don't see how he could possible still find me attractive now, cause i don't look like the person he was attracted to in the first place. he says he loves me and how i look at any size, but i've noticed that he doesn't compliment me as much as he used to. i know it may be because he works so much is tired alot, and maybe he doesn't realize he isn't saying the things he used to. but i feel like maybe if i heard him say 'hey you look nice' more often i would feel a little better about myself.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:25 PM on Jan. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I know the feeling. My husband is the same way. I used to get complements all the time from him and now its rare. I have to ask how do i look and when i ask he thinks its a trick question. I do a lot to make him happy but i feel like crap. I have always had low self esteem so i need those words and i just dont get them anymore. Im sorry you feel this way. Keep your chin up!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:35 PM on Jan. 19, 2010

  • I agree with you and the previous answer. My SO does the same thing. We have been together for over 3 years, and have a 10 month old and I went from a size 7 to a 16 and have held all of my baby weight. I talked with him. I felt like its something that we needed to discuss not because I was fishing for compliments but because my feeling were being hurt by it. If you love him and he loves you then it shouldnt be hard to share your feelings. Once i told him how I felt not only did I feel better by getting it out (along with a few tears) but he understood after I explained it and apologized for concerning me and hurting me. Since then he has made a dramatic difference to show me he understands and cares and loves me. Hope it works out for you. I suggest a heart to heart.

    Answer by MsMallory09 at 12:10 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I'm not sure SO was ever attracted to me. I know he likes me but I don't think it's over looks. He likes me as a person so it's not about my shell. It's about who I am.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:18 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • i think its normal to feel that way after a couple of baby's i was about a 9 whan i met my boyfriend and 3 baby's latter i'm lucky if i fit myself into a 14 well more like 18 right now i just had the 3rd one but what he always tells me is he sees the same and the fact that i can't let my guard down otherwise he's humping my leg while i'm washing the dishes but really if u feel this way well then do something about it start a healthy meal plan go for walks it will make u feel better about your self and mayby help u louse that baby weight

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I have been married for 6 years and my husband has never said that i looked Smoking HOT or Sexy. Not even on our wedding day, which i remind him every year on our anniversary. I too have gained alot of weight. After the second c-section i went from a 12P to an 18W. I love my baby boy but he stretched out mommies tummy. I see the effect of my weight gain in the bedroom because i cant pull off the moves that i use to when i was thinner and younger. Even my knees crackle.LOL! Take it one day at a time. Begin with daily walks, preferably around sun rise or sun set, as the sky is gorgeous around this hour. Clear your mind of negative thoughts and love yourself. A fotune cookie once stated: "Many complain of their looks but no one complains of their mind".

    Answer by alejandra559 at 1:55 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • a size 10 at 14 isn't small by any means.. so maybe it is your lack of self esteem that is throwing him off. Start taking care of "you" and loving you and others will follow.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I am sorry you are going through this and I know how it feels to not feel good about yourself. With that said, I am fortunate I do not have this problem BUT my husband is not one for giving lots of compliments either and his answer for that is, nothing is wrong so he doesn't say anything. Now us women know that is not the way to go about it, we need and want to hear that we look nice, that our husband/SO finds us attractive and they should say so. I'm just trying to give a little insight into the mind of a man and sometimes it just comes down to: if they are not saying anything, then nothing is wrong. Of course I have talked to my husband and told him that he really does need to give a compliment here and there. So the other day he tells me, honey you are so pretty with your glasses on, they don't take away from your looks at all. hahahaha, he's a character but it made me feel good.

    Answer by TarLion at 4:15 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • op- to anon 12: 44

    yes i was a size 10 at 14, but i also was 120lbs and 5' 4"and had stopped growing. i haven't gotten any taller since i was 12 years old. thanks for making me feel like i guess wasn't good enough then either?

    thanks for your answers ladies, i think i will have a talk with my husband about how i feel abotu it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Yes, I feel that way, and yes, I've noticed he isn't really attracted to my "looks" that much anymore. We love each other more and more each year, and our relationship has gotten so much stronger, so I guess it isn't a big deal. We still have a great intimate life, I just notice he doesn't seem interested in my body. I was a size 5 when we met, and had a near perfect body. I just didn't know it then. lol. But I did, and now I'm in a size 11-13, and since pregnancy, my butt has gotten flatter and wider, my love handles are too big, my boobs are droopier, and my stomach is a little saggy with stretchmarks.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.