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How can a single mom manage to take care of everything?

I'm a single mom of a 2 years old boy. My son is a 'storm' and, to put it this way, has earned the nickname "Bam-Bam" (Flinstones cartoons). I'm also a student (online). I have no outside job (house-mom). I find it hard to keep everything in balance and up-to-date... especially having the house neat and clean.

I feel like I desperatelly need some time fom me, some me-time. But no one hands me a hand. The father rarelly steps in, and I can't count with my family or friends to help. I don't have the resources to put my son on a Daycare, and the ones provided by the goverment have wait-lists. In addition that I'm not sleeping or eating well, or as it's supposed to.

I feel likes I have no options for now in terms of the outside care of my son.

I know there's hope, and that God has put one day after another so we can have hope for something better each day.

What can anyone suggests me?

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Asked by Atenea at 12:05 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • I had to start scheduling the hell out of my days in order to feel like I was keeping up with everything. It really worked I mean I have everything scheduled down to the minute and I had to start planning things like a few weeks in advance if I could but it really made me feel less stressed out and gave me more time to myself. Like I know that my son is going to go to sleep at eight and that gives me about two hours to do anything I need before bed and he'll have a two hour nap/quiet time every single day so I can unwind and do things I need to do for myself. I'm more of a go with the flow kind of person normally but it was necessary for my sanity to know exactly when I would get to be alone every day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Sorry. I can't remember how I did it with 3, not just one, but I did. Others do too. You will figure it all out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • wow, the first poster is amost exactly like me. granted, i'm not a single mom, but dh was deployed this past year and i had the kids on a set schedule. woke, napped, and went to bed at the same time every day, even had breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack at the same time every day. housecleaning went with it. when they woke up, they'd eat breakfast, i'd put the dishes away. while they ate lunch, picked up some toys, vaccumed. when they went down for nap, that was time for laundry. after they went to bed at night, clean the floors, bathrooms, ect. (that was once a week though) if i decided to take a break at nap time, i'd do laundry after they went to bed at night. all throughout the day i'd load up the dishwasher, and before i go to bed i turn it on.

    this schedule is still set, even while dh is here. it's great, even though i am also a go with the flow girl, it gives me a sense of sanity as well.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • You can't so seek help.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • One thing that I learned from my sister is how strong a woman is even when she doesnt realize it. My sister's husband left her for another woman and left her with 4 kids, she was a stay at home mom for the entire 12 yrs of marriage. After several months of crying, she decided to pick herself up and she enrolled in school, she graduated with a Doctorate's degree in education and is up for a position as a professor. You can do it, i know with some help it will be better, but if you dont get it, just keep in mind how strong you are and the things that you want for your baby and you'll be able to do it. Keep your chin up and you seem to have a relationship with God so heres a scripture that I always find comforting.

    Prov. 3:5,6-- Trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding.  In all your ways take notice of him, and he himself will make your paths straight.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • do a through cleaning/ organization of your house and car just focus on one room a day, then just try and maintain, try and get as much cleaning done while your son is awake so that you have time for school and you when he's asleep, having a huge calender on the fridge with everything on it, doc appointments, school assignments. ect really helps me organize my time. also have you looked at home daycares, I know they can be kind of scary but if you really take time to do research they can be ALOT cheaper then institutional care.

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 10:20 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I think it's important to realize that you can't do everything. Then prioritize and simplify. I learned after a lot of stress and not sleeping that my house is not going to be perfectly clean all the time. Reasonably clean is good enough. A couple of cheap laundry baskets keep toys off the floor. A quick wipe down of the kitchen counters will suffice. My daughter is in daycare while I work, but after work and on weekends, it's just me, so I do my best to involver her in what I'm doing - she sits in her high chair and snacks while I'm cooking. We get out together - to the library or the park. We try to make grocery shopping fun.

    I do almost all my housework and laundry while she's sleeping during the week, then on weekends I get "me" time when she takes her nap. It's not a perfect solution, but we've made it work for us.

    Answer by lvpenguino at 3:04 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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