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Is it just a selfish guy thing, or does he really not care?

DH was going to the mall, I asked if he would pick me up some spray and lotion, as I was running out. He just said no, I said why not, he said he just didn't feel like doing it. I feel like when he asks me to do something for him that I am happy to do it for him, and he should have been able to do that olittle thing for me, It's not like he had to go out of his way or anything. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • He is being selfish. Next time he want you to do something for him, like cook his dinner. Tell him the same thing.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 8:14 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I agree with louise2!! When my DH is like that, I tell him that everything in our home is "self-service".
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 8:25 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Is it possible that you were asking him to do something that would make him feel really uncomfortable? That he would be embarrassed? I'm not making excuses for him, his response was mean. But spray and lotion may not be something he feels comfortable buying, and he couldn't tell you that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • my dh would do it for me..but some men are really uncomfortable...especially if you were asking him to pick it up from somewhere like victoria secret or bath and body works. Its just a bunch of women in there and he would probably feel like he was being starred down or looked at as "gay"
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:32 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I would say he could get over being a little uncomfortable. Wives are put in those situations. For example, washing their dirty underwear. I mean he isn't buying a bra or tampons. Sheesh. He could be acting bashful about it but that is still just pretty rude.
    IzzeAddy

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 8:34 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • My husband of 45 years would have gotten it for me, but in the beginning he would not have. I really believe it's something that most men have to grow into. I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, men are very uncomfortable buying feminine products, including lotions. Part of your husband's problem could have been that he was fearful of getting the wrong kind and risking further embarrassment. This could be particularly true if you have ever said something about his picking up the wrong kind of something, either lotion or something else. Part of loving your husband is being sensitive to the fact that he is not like a woman. He doesn't feel the same way, and he certainly doesn't think the same way. Also, if you had recently refused doing something for him, it would explain his choice of words when he said he didn't feel like getting those for you. Sometimes, we fail to make all the connections.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:42 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • How come you couldn't go with him? Not only could you have made sure you got what you wanted but spent some time with him too. If he said it because he didn't know exactly what you would want that's one thing. If he was saying it because he really didn't want to take a few minutes and do something for you then yes that is selfish. SO next time you make dinner make enough for you and the kids and not enough for him. leave it at that. if he asks say you didn't feel like it. Also if he asks you for ANYTHING within the next week say no and give the same answer he did and leave it at that. Sorry, but it's a two way street.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 9:07 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • That is not a 'guy thing'. There are other issues. Either he is uncomfortable going into that particular store, OR, he is just being unreasonable.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 10:03 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Mine hates when I ask him to go into bath and body works so if I asked him to pick up something for me from there I would get the "what are you asking me to do" face. I would then suggest that he forget it and eventually get to it. It may not have been selfish, but he might not like going into those places.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:14 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I want to add that if I asked mine to p/u feminine products for that time of the month he would. He just doesn't like going into places that smell like bath and body works.
    coala

    Answer by coala at 10:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

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