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How do I get my 13 year old son to have more friends and not be "annoying" to them.?He has told me that during lunch yesterday, when he went to sit down at a table with a bunch of his peers, a few left the table and went to another table.

He told me yesterday that during lunch as he went to sit at a table with his peers, that a few of them left the table to go elsewhere. He can be a "noodge" sp? at times, but he really has a good heart. His sister who is 11 years old teases him that he doesn't have any friends and that he is annoying. He is the kind of kid that says he doesn't care if he has a friend over or that he didn't get invited to the party, game, etc. I want him to be more social and have good friends. Where do I start in getting him to be a good friend first?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • It's a tough age. We all go through it.

    1. You can control your home environment and make him feel loved there. That's 100% in your power.
    2. Does he have any activities? Band? Boy scouts? church group? Something where he has the opportunity to be around kids he doesn't regularly see at school?

    Mom-- be cool on the l33t speak. It's "n00b" spelled n-zero-zero-b and pronounced "newb." ;) (Thank God I married a computer nerd and will be able to speak teenager!)
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 9:57 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Aw, mom, I know it's hard, but this can be such an awkward time in their lives can't it? (I have a 12 yr old and can feel the pain.) Not sure what a noodge is though? If you just keep talking with him and keep your side of communication open with him, letting him know that he can have a friend over when he wants or whatever, thats about all you can do. If he says he's fine with the way things are don't intevene, you could end up embarassing him and that "would totally be the end of the world mom." lol But seriously, if he knows you are there for him and he's fine for now, let him figure things out and have a talk with your daughter about teasing, nothing worse than a teasing sibling. If things get worse, try asking him if he wants to get involved in some club or sport outside school... just encourage him, as I am sure you are doing already, to do his very best and to be himself. He shouldn't have to change for anyone
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 10:02 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Sit down with your son and the school counselor. It sounds to me like he may be a victim of bullying.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:22 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I bet he talks too much. The thing that always got me in high school were the kids who talked non-stop .They could be the sweetest kids ever, but if they couldn't shut up, I didn't really want to hang out because I would start to feel embarrassed for them. Tell him to think about how much he talks with his friends and maybe when he thinks he should say something, like make a joke or comment about what someone is saying...DON'T. Just think about it for a few seconds longer than usual.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • He needs to be who he is. You can not make him what he isnt.

    Help him to find his interests, and then find an outlet for that interest. He will make friends that way.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Let him be who he is. Not everybody wants or needs to be Mr. Popularity. Cut him some slack, this is not a big deal now. Just let it go. If he seems happy, has decent grades and a few friends here and there, whats all the drama for?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

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