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Do people get married because they know they can get a divorce if they're not happy?

Ever since I was a little girl I always thought I would get married to my other half and that we'd even die together. People don't seem to think that way anymore. I think most get married to someone they love but are not really crazy about- or they think they are- knowing they can get divorced anytime.
Why did all these divorced people get married in the first place?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:52 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I didn't marry someone one time bc he believed like you do and I wanted to be able to get out of it if it didn't work. Why did we marry? Because like everyone else we thought we were in love and it seemed like the thing to do at the time. It was expected of us. At that time society said get matched up and have a family (blah blah blah) and we did what was expected of us. I've tried marriage more than once. I went into it with a positive attitude but the elements were not there to make a successful marriage so we thought it best to cut our losses and move on. I'm just not into marriage anymore. I just can't work that hard. I like being single.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:56 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • YES!!! In today's society marriage vows do NOT hold value to most people. They all think that divorce is just an easy out! In my marriage and opinion - my marriage vows mean FOREVER and for ALWAYS no matter what. Life is not easy - that includes marriage. Anything worth having is worth fighting for!

    Answer by RutterMama at 9:59 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I think people don't get married with "forever" in mind anymore because it is so easy to get a divorce, and that is very accepted and almost expected in our society today. I think people don't choose carefully who they marry, thinking in terms of a good parent for their children, similiar philosophies of life, etc. Marriage is hard work, and we live in an instant gratification society. Also, because government involvement in marriage is supposed to be for the protection of children and homemakers w/o their own income, and that has changed, the need for legal marriage has become obsolete.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • No, this isn't why I'd get married. When I was pregnant with my girls, my bf asked me to marry him. I said yes at first because of the kids but then I thought that if I didn't REALLY want to marry him it would never work out for the kids. It wouldn't last. So I told him we could keep going out together and maybe move in together so we can get to REALLY know each other. 18 months later we couldn't stand each other so we broke up. We're best friends now.
    I am getting married to someone else in May. This is totally different. I KNOW it is going to last because we have gone through hell together and we made it out of there. I wouldn't get married to someone if I wasn't SURE we BOTH want to spend the rest of our lives together.

    Answer by lovemytwinsters at 10:05 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I think people readily encourage others to divorce. It's so common to divorce that "friends" will suggest that you file for divorce if you have an argument.

    I also think men feel like they have fewer consequences than ever before. You can get divorced, leave the state, not see your kids, not pay child support, have a cash job, and hide from responsibility. That situation happens all too frequently.

    There isn't a lot of social pressure to stay married. Divorce isn't taboo like it once was. It's very difficult to find support for a struggling marriage.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:05 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Marriage was not important to us; however, that $40 piece of paper gives us more than $10,000 worth of legal protections.

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:21 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Obviously, a lot of people look at divorce as an easy way out. I know several people who started to become unhappy in their marriage and immediatey headed to the courthouse to "remedy" the situation. They had a different definition of marriage than I have. I also know that a happy marriage consists of two people and cannot work if only one person cares enough to put the effort into it. If one person puts the blood, sweat and tears into making a happy marriage just to have the other be lazily content with the status quo, I think the person who makes the effort is entitled to a happy life if divorce is the only way out.

    Answer by sillyt at 11:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • My parents are approaching their 50th year of marriage. I was raised to believe it's forever! I have been married 18 years, and we have worked through some pretty tough things. My dh's parents divorced when he was young and remarried multiple times! He doesn't want that for our children. I do think most people get married thinking it will be forever, but life happens and things just don't work out that way.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 12:06 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I got married because I was too young and immature when I got married to see my ex for who he really was. I didn't think divorce was an option, which was the only reason I stayed with him as long as I did (12 years). I really wish I had gotten out sooner!

    Answer by missanc at 12:18 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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