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Who would you rather ask advice from? A person who has actually had a child or someone who has just "help" raise there nieces/nephews?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Just for Fun

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Answers (21)
  • I think sometimes parents can be too close the situation. Even a childless person can see when parent is getting totally played by their child

    Answer by karamille at 3:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Ill take anything i can get....Even though someone just "helped" they could know a thing or two. And you dont know the extent of what "help" is to them.

    Answer by Shelii at 10:12 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I usually ask advice from older women with grown children.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:16 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Advice is advice from where ever the source. One thing that does kind of, ok really, annoy me though, is when someone who has never had kids, or really had anything to do w/ kids, w/ out you asking them, gives you advice on how to disapline your kids. grrrrr. My cousin-in-law used to do that to me, about my son (my 2nd child). She used to talk about what a brat he was, and how he had no disaplin, behind my back. LOL. Jokes on her, she's got 2 boys now and both are worse than my son ever was. hehehehe.

    Answer by HappyEndings at 10:18 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Advice from oldest children in large families can be really interesting. Since they have the sibling emotional relationship and sibling respect issues, it's a very different angle. DH is the oldest of 7 and he knows things about kids that shock me sometimes.

    Answer by ecodani at 10:18 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Both. it's nice to have all different types of opinions. Sometimes, someone on the outside can see more clearly than someone on the inside.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:19 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • It depends. For example, I'm the oldest of 4. My youngest sibling is young enough to be my son (in fact, he's only 4 yrs older than my son...). I'm also the oldest of all of my cousins (some of whom are younger than my own kids). I did a LOT of babysitting for my cousins over the yrs.

    And, more importantly, I also helped raise my younger siblings - most of the time my mom was either a single mom or married to abusive men, and she had other problems as well. So, "help" meant that I went to school and worked, and helped pay the bills with the money. I cleaned house, I helped with homework, broke up arguments, did laundry, supervised baths, read stories, etc. Basically, I was like a second mom to them.

    Now, is that the SAME as being a mom? No, but on the other hand, I did know more about raising kids before my kids were born than many (if not most) first time, new moms did.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:22 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I'm sure you'll get lots of comments on what makes a mother, but I still feel that there is much to be said about the bond between you and your child that someone who has no kids could possibly understand. Crack me if you will, but I see how people change and the advice giving changes when they have their own kids. I'm not saying they can't handle kids, but it is different. I want to hear what worked for you and your child!

    Answer by Steff107 at 10:22 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • cont

    So, when I listen to advice, there are a lot of things I take into account - 1) do they have kids this age (or older), and if so, how did things work out for them? 2) if they don't have kids of their own, what experience do they have with kids that age? And finally and most importantly, 3) does the advice they offer make sense to me, like it's something that could help?

    Now, I do admit though that I get frustrated by people who want to offer advice who really have no experience with that age group other than the fact that they have been that age group at some point in their lives... Like, if you don't have teens and never worked with teens, don't think you can tell me how to parent them. I want to say, when your 5 yr old dd is 15, then we'll talk, or, just because you and my son are both 17 and you're a mom doesn't mean you know how to be a mom to a 17 yr old...

    But then again, even then, I look at number 3...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 10:28 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I was a nanny for many years many of my friends would ask me for advice about raising their kids and how to care for them. I did not have my own children but I worked for a family for 12 years and had basically raised their kids until they could go to boarding school. The kids still call me and spend holidays with me and their kids call me grandma. You don't need to have kids to know what to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Jan. 20, 2010