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How can I get my boyfriend to help out more with the baby?

My boyfriend (the father) are still together but he really doesn't help out much with her. He does have a job and was helping out around the house a little bit, but not with her. I don't know if I'm expecting to much from him or if there is a way to get him to help out a little more with her. It gets tiring getting up with her every couple hours and never getting any sleep. If he was to just watch her while I took a nap for a couple hours I would be happy

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • My hubby does help but not much.. He helped more with our son then our daughter she is 2 weeks old and i haven't had any sleep.. I ask him why he didn't want to help much and he said she was so small and he didn't want to hurt her.. I thought that was sweet cause he didn't want to hurt our baby girl but helped out so much with our now 2 yr old.. But im cool with it i know it will get alot better :)... I promise momma it will get better remember that...

    hinson7169

    Answer by hinson7169 at 3:05 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • my hubby was like that too, i think that they dont realy know what to do becouse there still so small. when she cries in the morning. tell him say honey will u get her i have to go to the bathroom.. also with the whole nap thing,do something extra nice for him then the next day or when u feel u need a nap just ask him if he can watch her for an hour while u lay down.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 10:49 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Don't ask tell him, and as long as it does not interfere with his job, I have learned they are their children as well as ours.

    Say, I need to get a nap so you need to look after her. I use to ask not anymore.... There is no option, you are both the parents, you have your needs he has his.

    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:49 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Might I add, My man was wonderful with our babies... a little lazy about it, but it does work....

    Don't be nasty, be very nice..... Nice works better....
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:51 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • My husband was that way at first to. I talked to him about it later and he told me that he was afraid that he was going to do something wrong so he didnt want to do anything at all. He had a huge fear of hurting him when he was changing him or putting clothes on him. Even now when my son is 7 months old my husband will not put clothes on him. He asks me to do it because my son is a little brat when it comes to getting dressed and my husband dosnt want to be to rough for him. Just talk to him about watching her so you can take a little nap. Just have him wake you up so you can feed her.
    Shelii

    Answer by Shelii at 10:54 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Before the two of you had a child, didn't you discuss how tasks would be divided? If not, you may need a neutral third party to help the two of you relearn effective communication.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:03 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • My DH didn't help out with the baby very much either. He can't handle crying so everytime she would cry, he'd leave the room which I preferred! DH deployed for 15 mos when she was 8 mos and she is now 2, he just got home and is a GREAT dad! Some people really can't handle the baby stage! My MIL, my dh, my BIL or brothers couldn't handle any of it! DH changed a total of 10 diapers in her life but now he's the best father I've ever seen! Trust me, I KNOW it's hard!!!! Nap when baby does!!!! That was the ONLY thing that ever worked for me! My DH never knew how to make a bottle and never did laundry or dishes the entire time so she was on my hip while I did everything. Yes, FRUSTRATING! The only time he had her was when she was napping or happy.
    If your bf can handle the crying. ask him for a quick nap and try to make it a daily thing!
    07lilmama1108

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 11:05 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • communication. Ask for help. Let him know when you are feeling overwhelmed and let him kno what he can do to help. Don't demand help either. That makes people pull away. Be nice, but direct.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Be very explicit in what you need. Put together a list of things on a table and just keep it there. If you need a nap, explain that the baby can be played with or walked outside for about 30 extra minutes while you go sleep and before the baby needs feeding. Lay it out like a roadmap. Not that they are good sometimes at reading those either, but hope this helps! :-)
    lynnard

    Answer by lynnard at 12:18 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Nice but direct, I agree with anon, it's hard to be a knew mom and dad doesn't always no what to do. We all need a little help from time to time.He did help make your beautiful baby girl.' My fiance & I have 5 kids.The 2 yongest are 4 yrs old & 16 months.He is a great dad, but he has a fear of giving baths and he told me so when I asked him to please give the babe a bath one time(after a few) I confronted him and thats what he shared with me.He'll change a poopy diaper, get them dressed.hold & play with them.He's scared he'll do something to hert the baby by accident in the water, IDK because it's slippery or what but to have commnication is the best thing in any relationship(and making eye contact as well) doesn't hurt...lol.Just saying maybe he's nervous about something..?~ Just ask him/tell him you need a nap to be a good mom, other wise your NOT all there'`~....
    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 12:29 PM on Jan. 20, 2010