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how do you better your life when its in the shits?

from no job, no friends, no motivation, no real weightloss... my life is just really in the shits. trying to not feel sorry for myself, but its hard

been looking for a job- for months- no luck.
got social anxiety/panic attacks when i'm around others so its hard to get friends
weightloss- been trying since Sept 09- no luck. have PCOS, finally got doc help- 3 weeks in, no weight loss. trying a new workout this month (30 day shred), ontop of what i usually do.

plus trying to deal with an old rape problem- it keeps coming back to me (dreams and when people touch me), i get scared... cant go to a therapist though; no money. already joined groups on here.

seems like DS doesnt even like me- he's just a toddler so i know he does, but feels like he kinda doesnt.

sorry if this is in the wrong category-- i just figure it might be considered "mental health" lol

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Health

Answers (7)
  • Take time each day to do something simple & free you enjoy. Take your son to the park or for a walk & try to experience life thru his eyes. Take a bath, read a book, whatever it is that gives you peace. Make yourself a priority too.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 11:06 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Im sorry things are goin shitty for you. I know how you feel. My son has wanted nothing to do with me the past few weeks...i have an old rape problem as well so i know that feeling. And it has been much worse latly. And on top of all that i am also having dreams about a family member that passed not to long ago so that makes me upset. I cant get a job because of a medical condition with my heart yet its not bad enough for disability. I have another medical problem causing me to pass out like 5 times a week if not more and they are trying to fix that and they have no clue what is wrong with me. They want to give me a pacemaker but im only 20 and i dont know if i want to do that. my family is about to go to trial because my cousin said my grandpa molested her when it never happened. My husband is getting surgery on the 1st so im going to be worrying about all of that 2 and my sister is about to get deployed. Life sucks...

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Make a list of what you CAN change, or do that will take you a step closer to what you want. Do at least one thing a day. Keep a positive attitude, when you dwell on things, you are stuck in the past and dont move forward. Stop saying the negative thoughts in your head. When you say I get painic attacks so I cannot have friends, thats what will happen. Try changing the dialoge in your head to " I may have a panic attack but I will try to be more outgoing"
    "When people touch me I get scared"...change that to "People can touch me and I wont freak out"
    And count your blessings. You are not trapped under a building with no food or water.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Stop focusing on the negative. Find the positives in your life and place your focus there. If you can't find a job, volunteer. Take time each day to pray or meditate. Write 5 positive power statements. "I control my life. My life does not control me." or "I deserve to be happy." Remove the negatives from your life. Stop being a victim. Be a survivor. You will be amazed at what positive thought can do.

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 1:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I can't agree with motherofhope more. Been through some terrible stuff including rape myself. Continued allowing myself to be hurt over and over again. Many health problems. But then something dawned on me...many things I cannot change. They are or were. But by Golly what I can change, I am going to. I just take one day, one hour, one minute at a time and be just as grateful as I can for what I do have. For instance, I am not wealthy, but I have what I need. My health is not the best, but I am in darned good shape for the shape that I am in and work always towards keeping it as good as possible. I may have been raped, but they will never steal my's all mine. Speak good things to and about yourself. Read things that make you feel good or help you learn to be positive. And for me...I pray a whole lot. : ) Have peace.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • K, you need the emotion code. You have had trauma that you are not able to release on your own and it is affecting your health and Mental well being. It's all connected. You're not in the wrong category. I have other solutions to offer as I am a wellness consultant, but you need to get rid of some serious trapped emotions first. Go to It explains it all. You can check out the basic idea of his book at, but his site has more info. I'm with the same wellness company, nikken. We also deal with health issues as well as weight loss and it's a way to get income. We also have a program that can turn your life around called Human's being more Training. But Start with the emotion code. You can get the book and do it yourself, Pay Dr. Nelson for a session, or contact me and I can try to clear you myself. I'm not certified yet, but I do know how, so I can't charge for it. write me

    Answer by 1heart1mind at 4:53 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Honestly, one word: OPTIMISM

    Feel positive, think positive, BE POSITIVE. It'll come. I spent years where you're at, and this was the only thing that got me out of it.

    Answer by KLBrown at 10:07 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

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