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should i continue to let my son see and call his father

me and my son,s father have been broken up for 5 years i am now married with children and he is engaged. he was very abusive to the point i had to stay in domestic volence shelter. when i tried to leave stalked me in and out of my windows etc .every now and then calls to tell me he want me back (this other women looks like me same hazel eyes complexion everything)he has said it in front of her but still she hates me.i have made it as clear as i can that im not coming family has just moved to another state but before we did he was barely seeing my son madebe once a month or every two three months sometimes. they talked on the phone only cuz my son called him(hes 9)the issue is he talks about us me and my husband calling me b*tches and calling my husband names everytime he sees or talk to him i have to deprogram him. my son sees him smoke weed cigerettes drink even though he has astma and hs even seen him selling. (cont)

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Asked by concernedmom300 at 1:14 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • My only suggestion is that you need to take it to the court. Only the court can decide if your ex should be around the child. If YOU make that call then your ex can get you in trouble for a number of different things.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • lately he has started calling me say stuff like im trash calling me out my name. recitly he picked him up for christmas and then did not bring him home he lives 5 hours away he missed a week of school so my husband had to pick him up i'm just tired of the confusion me and my husband been together 5 years and they love each other

    Answer by concernedmom300 at 1:17 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Not no but HELL NO, I wouldn't let him see him

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • If you have to question it..follow your gut instinct. I would get a lawer and go to court. Maybe he can start with supervised visitation and have to take counseling or something. If you feel very strongly, maybe get a protective order against him until you go to court.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:22 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I think you need to sit down with your son and speak with him about his father. Then I would seek an order of protection from him. He seems like a nut and you don't want to be at a lost by a son kidnapped or worse. Your x has a lot of hate for you and he's just going to keep at it, unless you put a stop to it.

    Answer by happynewyorker at 1:23 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I am with Anonymous; not only NO, but HELL NO! You have a duty to protect your child. Take this duty/responsibitly VERY seriously. From an outsiders perspective, take a look at the situation.....I'm sure if you do, you will find that it's MUCH WORSE than you realize as an "insider".

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 1:30 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Nope. There is no way in hell. From what you are saying here, I would never have let him see him in the first place. Oh, I know courts can intervene, but frankly, will he go to all the trouble? Document everything he does. Keep it in a journal that is dated. And if he tries to make trouble for you, then take him to court. Your little one needs your protection and that comes before his sperm donor's "rights"

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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