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Does your SO appreciate what you do? Do you have to literally follow them around the house to keep it clean?

That's the only way I can keep my house clean is to follow his every move and pick up after him. I hate it, and what's worse is he gets mad at me for doing it but complains if the house isn't clean.

Am I doing it wrong? I'm really starting to hate him. I couldn't live without him because i'm a SAHM but really? Does life have to be so bad for me?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Alright....!
    No, he never appreciated anything I did for him until well some what now that I left!
    We lived with my parents for almost 2 years after my daughter was born and then got an
    apartment early last year...we only lived together, separately from my parents, for a few short
    months...and he could never get his dirty clothes in the hamper!! He works as a land scaper and it was nasty!
    I kept telling him about his I didnt mind washing the clothes HOWEVER they needed to be in the hamper
    not on the floor!!! We had white carpet.
    So one night...I decided Id had enough! I picked up all of his clothes that were not in the hamper and took them outside to the apartment complexes trash bin!
    He finally got the picture...
    especially since she had to go to work the next day and order all new uniforms and pay for them.
    I def. wasnt being appreciated!

    Answer by camzma0407 at 4:13 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Same boat sister - it is like I have two kids rather than one and I work full time as well

    Answer by chefronswife at 3:23 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Stop cleaning up after him. Tell him the house would be clean if you learned how to clean up after yourself. Then when you do clean, pile all his stuff on his side of the bed.

    Answer by louise2 at 3:23 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Explain to him he can't have it both ways! You either follow him around to keep the house the way he wants it, or he needs to start understanding that the house won't be immaculate every minute of the day.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • With my So it's like he is a kid, so I treat him like one. If I want him to put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, then I have to tell him to do so, sometimes I have to keep telling him, but you are not his mommy or maid, just tell him what you need him to do for himself, and if he can't do it, let it sit, for me it's impossible to have a spotless house, be a good mom to my 3 kids, and have time with my So as well. It's like if I spend my day cleaning, the kids are acting up all day, and when I cater to them all day, the house is a wreck, i try to balance myself. Good Luck.

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 3:29 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • It sounds familiar. It gets better as they age, if you don't accept it..

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:30 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Makes me even more thankful for the Hubby I have... His Mother taught him to take care of himself when he was young, so he doesn't feel it's my job to pick up after him... The only advice I can give is if you have sons, teach them that they can do everything for themselves and don't have to rely on a woman to do it for them. Also to have respect for women, and be an equal partner....

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 3:31 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • My SO is a clean freak and I'm the slob but being with him makes me want to do better so I'm a much neater person now. Just ask him to quit being such a slob. You shouldn't have to work so hard. He's an adult. Tell his mom. Ask her if she allowed him to act that way at home.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:32 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • you are not his mom, you don't have to clean up his things.

    Answer by charisma10 at 3:32 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I live with my 21 year old son. There are just a couple of things I want him to do. Don't leave dirty clothes and shoes around house and don't tear couch up. He is tall and can't sit on his butt and hold still like a normal person and ruins all furniture. Couch cushins are hanging on the edge or on the floor. Pillows on the floor. He ruins furniture I think can't be ruined.

    Only 2 things. Clothes and couch. I don't care about the bathroom, his bed, drinking out of the oj jug, dirty dishes, messing up microwave, ect.


    Answer by Gailll at 3:34 PM on Jan. 20, 2010