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When is enough, enough?

I've been with my BF for almost 2 years and he cheated when i was 8 months pregnant. I know because my aunt seen him with her and i spoke with the girl too(myspace). BF grew up in foster homes, placements, group home, never knowing his dad or his family. But that's no excuse. He either loves me, or doesn't. I love him, but i love my son more. And i want a good role model for my son. He is great with him. But there are times when he's with him, lets just say if i had a gun! Nothing bad, but i need more help from him. I feel like i make excuse for him, because i see myself with him forever, but he needs a lot of maturing to do! He is only 19, and i'm 20. But no doubt about it, i am WAY more mature them him.

Counseling, therapy?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:41 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • i had my son when i was 16 and his father was 19. we were together for four years and hew never grew up. not even after our son was diagnosed with diabetes. we're not together anymore and he still hasn't grown out of his childish habits.
    colesmommy12

    Answer by colesmommy12 at 3:46 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Counseling and therapy will be the ONLY way you will both learn to forgive and forget and be the parents that your son deserves. It sounds like you both have some growing up to do. No relationship is ever going to be perfect. You have to work at it. By him cheating on you when you were pregnant, that is not only saying he doesn't love you or care about you, but he also doesn't ReSPECT you. Don't make excuses for him. His baggage is not your problem. If it doesn't work out between the two of you, I hope you wisen up and really get to know somebody before laying down and making a baby with him. The only one that suffers in these situations is the child. Hope everything works out for you.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 3:47 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • If he hasnt grown up already then he never will.
    If he were serious about you and about this baby then he would have grown up when
    you/he found out you were pregnant and NEVER cheated on you. It only proves that
    he simply isnt ready to be tied down to one woman and youre better than that. You
    deserve someone that is going to love you, only you, and be a good father to that child
    even if it isnt biologically theirs.
    You deserve to be happy and if in the back of your mind youre wondering if hes cheating on you again...then that isnt healthy. Move on, let him go, it's his lose not yours! You will find someone who will be a good role model for that child and they will love him just the same without a doubt.
    I did...
    camzma0407

    Answer by camzma0407 at 4:09 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Hello, Let him know how you feel about what hes doing or saying around the child. Ask him would he be willing to get counseling, also ask him do he want a family wih you and his child. Maybe he don't think its him baby. Am not saying its not just talking from experience. Men sometime act that way when they don't know or just didn't want a child so soon. Ask him. Maybe he need proof. Then if he don't straight up its time to leave. When I had my daughters, the father did think it was his, but yet three daughters laters he still acted the same way it took a judge to get him straight. But then he still didn't want to do. So talk to him; no some men don't like to talk; he's still young give him time along with counseling to get right. If not leave.
    Charleys

    Answer by Charleys at 4:52 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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