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Baby shower - but guests of honor out of town - help?!

Hi -

My friend is planning a baby shower for her brother & his wife, but they live very far away and won't be able to attend themselves. But my friend wants to have the shower for the family near them, which I think is totally fine. But my friend is wondering how in the world to word the invitation so people will know the couple won't be there, and to "gently" suggest they bring gifts of money/gift cards, etc. since the gifts will have to be shipped all the way to Arizona from Ohio.

Any suggestions? Has anyone done a baby shower like this? Did you play games? I told my friend I'd help her figure something out. Help! :-)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:11 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (10)
  • it is TACKY to just ask for $$ or gift cards, and I have never heard of a shower celebrating someone that will not be there.

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 4:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • my family had a baby shower for me i cant fly home for it so my mom wrote in the ivitation that do to the prices of planes ticket i couldnt be there and the best gifts would be in gift cards do to the price of shipping

    Answer by keithamy06 at 4:15 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Maybe, depending on where its being held, you could hold the shower through a video conference or even by webcam. That way she could be there "long distance".

    Yes, I would still play games, that's half the fun of going to socialize, there are many women who are unable to make their showers. My cousin went into labor just before hers started and so they had it anyway. Just say something about "In absentia (or however its spelled) in the invitations.

    Answer by Lesli at 4:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • it isnt tacky im a military wife and is over seas i cant help that i cant fly home

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • umm...never heard of someone throwing a party for someone that wouldnt be there. I don't think I would go if I were to be invited to something like that,lol. Maybe she can send an email to everyone or a card stating that they were having a baby and heres the address if you would like to send them something special for thier new addition...idk. lol.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 4:17 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I said it was tacky to ask for $$ or gift cards specifically, and that I have never heard of a shower where the mom to be wasn't there... reread what I wrote

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 4:18 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Wow that's a unique idea. I guess the expectant parents don't really HAVE to be there. I think you'd be able to make it as formal or informal as you'd like.

    Your friend could maybe word the invitation something like "I'd like to invite all of you to the celebration of the little bundle of joy about to arrive in "Lisa and Jim's"(their names obviously LOL) life in just a few months. They will not be able to attend of course, but we'd love to honor and celebrate this little blessing and the special day to come in their lives by having a small get together with a few friends and family to help them get started. In lieu of car seats, toys, and and items that will be rather costly to ship, please if you choose to do so, you are welcome to bring money/gift cards to the celebration to be sent to the family.(this way your not actually ASKING for money/gift cards, but giving them the option if they so choose)

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 4:20 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Oh and about the gifts, I wouldn't ask them to bring gift cards or money, but I would provide the address of the couple and let the invities know that they should ship their gifts to that address and not bring them to the party, if you are worried about the expense. Most people who will buy them gifts would have to do that anyway if there weren't a shower, so it shouldn't be a big deal. And now, with the internet most people could buy online and have it shipped to them without any hassle to the person who is doing the giving.

    Answer by Lesli at 4:22 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Check this site out


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:35 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • sorry forgot to include the link:

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:37 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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