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What do I do about my sister?

I love my younger sister, she's the only sibling I have, and we do get along sometimes and I know she loves me. That being said however, I have noticed on my Facebook page that everything she responds to on my page is at best sarcastic or at the worst downright mean. I don't post anything on her page that could be considered inflammatory. Example she said she wasn't feeling well- I said, hope you feel better soon. Those are the only comments I make to her. She is and always has been very emotional. So we (my parents and I) have always tried to keep our own little Vesuvius from blowing up. Other times she just cries buckets. (and no she's not bipolar or anything). My Dh describes it as unless it has to do with her she doesn't care. She is well loved by her friends and nice to them. Us she could care less about. But she's hurting me and I don't know how to tell her without starting WWIII. (cont.)

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • For example on my page, I posted that my DH had been very considerate about going to the store and she replied that it was because there was no food in our house and because I suck at shopping. She might have been joking (and I am trying to take it that way), but in all the replies there has not been even one that wasn't sarcastic like that. My mother has even told my sister that it bothers her, how she (my sister) talks about me. They were on the phone the other night and she told my mom I was stupid and and a dumba**. Just because that's how she talks about me. Nothing has happened between us, like I said, I try my absolute best to keep everything calm and happy between us. But this is hurting me deeply.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I feel the way your sister does about your family about my family. Make sense?

    They are all a bunch of assholes to me when i was a growing up, used me, abused me, left me out and ignored me. Now that I have kids they want to be a part of my life, but I dont really want then to be. My friends have alwasy treated me better, so they are my family.

    Maybe evaluate your past relationship with her and maybe you will figure it ouut.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:50 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • OP Here: I have thought about our past relationship, but we all really walked on eggshells around her, for most of her life. The worst thing I ever did to her was tell on her for drinking when she was in the 4th grade. My parents weren't even angry she didn't get in trouble, but they did talk to her about drinking. That was it.

    She's perfectly cordial sometimes and if someone else says something bad about me she's an ardent supporter but apparently in her mind she's the only one allowed to make me miserable. Just the other night she called me and we talked about something she needed me to do and I told her I would.

    If she feels as you do (anon), then I wish she would talk to me about it or just ignore me. But I really don't think she realizes what she's doing to me at all. Nor do I think she knows how much she's hurting my parents either.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:05 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • listen she is ur sis and she loves you,am sure ,,,first tell her that it hurts u wat she writes on face book, for example,,,(come on y did u write this i didn't like it),, in a calm way ,,not as a discipline way,,just as friends,,, then if she did it again ,,take her off ur friends ,,and stay away from her alittle,,she will notice her fault,,and she will miss you,,thats wat i think,,good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • There probably isn't much you can do about it. It seems like she wouldn't care if she hurt your feelings, because if she did, she wouldn't do those kinds of things, even playing around. She should know how it feels to have people do that to her. If she doesn't, then maybe someone should. Yeah, it will make the problem worse, but why respect her feelings if she doesn't respect yours? Then once it all blows over, or she confronts you for it, let her know what it was done. That's what I would do. Sometimes tough love is the best thing you can do to get a point across to someone. Good luck with your sister though.
    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 5:38 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I would be honest with her about my feelings. Once Vesuvius quit erupting, you all might be able to work out a nice relationship. Stop with the egg shells though...it may actually be enabling her behavior.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • If you don't like what she posts on facebook then delete the comment she wrote & write her a personal message & say "sorry i deleted your comment, but it kind of hurt my feelings"

    That is all you have to say. Begin deleting her comments, or at least the ones that are mean, & tell her why you deleted it. Anon 5:54 is right. By not telling her, you are enabling her. If you loved her, you would stop enabling her.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 5:57 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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