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How do you know when you're done having kids?

We have 2 boys right now, ages 2 and 6 months. I really strongly feel that I want another baby (we plan to stop at 3 for sure), but sometimes when I think about the future, all I see are us and our boys. DH says he wants all our kids close together and he wants to be done by the time he's 30 (less than 2 years) so it's a decision we need to make soon. Can I not imagine that third child because I haven't met him/her yet? I would be so excited to meet another little baby, but is three too many? How did you all make your decisions?

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Asked by mrscat206 at 7:12 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • I am about to have my 3rd. My husband says he's done, and I could definitely have more, but we both need to agree to it, unless God decides to throw us a surprise baby. Either ways, babiesa are blessings, whether they are planned or not, There have been people I know who thought they were done and were happy to find out that they did recieve a surprised littleone, and many people I know who were not done but could not have anymore for one reason or another and they had to learn to acceot that as well. Some things are not completely in our control.

    Answer by Precious333 at 7:17 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • Well I have three and have always wanted one more. But I am starting to think of the things I could do if we stopped at three. I am a SAHM and I love it, but I am also a ceramic artist and I miss being able to work without worrying about my little ones. Our plan was to have one more when my younger two start kindergarten, so that would be two years and then another five years before I could really start making pots. I love my kids, but I miss making art so much. So I am torn like you. Sorry I guess I wasn't much help. Good luck!

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 7:19 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I have three kids. I knew I was done at three in different ways - financially it would have been way harder than for three and I didn't want to make our family worse off, we were have babies to make our family better. also after my third pregnancy started, began that is not after I delivered, after my third pregnancy began hearing crying babies didn't put me on the highest of high mommy alert saying OH CRYING BABY lead me to him and I'll take care of that poor baby even crying for a second while being changed!!!! Can you understnd that? Until I was pregnant with our third baby, when I heard a crying baby or toddler my hormones went haywire with emotion and anxiousness. After I became pregnant with our third, a baby could cry and I'd be oh ok the moms there the baby's not hurt but before then, i'd be BABY CRY WHY WHY?? weird I know.

    Answer by lfl at 7:21 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I had my oldest at 36 and my twins at 38. Financially and emotionally I don't think we could give any more children they care they should have. I wanted 3 kids and we are both fine with being done for now.

    Answer by Summersmom360 at 7:55 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I've always said I wanted only 2 kids and after that I'd be done. I got pregnant with my second and had him last May and it was a HORRIBLE pregnancy, which only strengthened my decision. There was no doubt in my mind though. As soon as I got pregnant with him I told my boyfriend that I was done. And he was fine with it. I'm not sure how I knew, exactly.............but I know my limits and this is so much for me! LOL! 2 boys! LOL!

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 8:06 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I only have one who turns 4 years old this May...we are done! Since he was born our family has felt complete and right. My husband and I feel we can give more ourselves and time to him if we stop at one, I like one child because it is so much simpler when we vacation, go out to eat, etc. Plus, there are things we can give him now and want to give him in the future and one child makes that possible. We are better parents for him because we are stopping at one. Deciding more kids, I tend to think how that affects him and our son tells us all the time he is happy having no siblings.

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 8:24 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • For me it it came down to my confidence in myself to be able to meet the emotional needs of the number of kids I wanted to have. Everybody always talks about the $$ part of having kids but I rarely hear much mention of the emotional needs of their potential children. We have two amazing boys and I am able to spend good quality time with each of them and still have time for myself and my husband. (=

    Answer by Krysden at 11:36 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I came from a family that I felt was too large. We had our 2, one boy, one girl. That is enough for us.

    Answer by Pnukey at 11:53 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • My husband and I had always said we wanted 3 kids, so after we had our twin girls we knew for sure that we wanted to try for one more. We ended up with b/g twins, so we actually ended up with 4 and we are DEFINITELY DONE! Children are such a blessing. :)

    Answer by Ellena at 2:35 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Um for me, it was after baby number five and the fact that I was going to be wearing my bladder as an accessory rather than an internal organ. I had my tubes tied and even then it was still hard to get used to the finality of the fact that I couldnt have any more kids. I am glad I made the choice to get fixed, and now I can have my bladder repaired. Shoot, I had my last two at thirty nine and forty yrs old. I am soooooooooooo over the baby thing.

    Answer by salexander at 11:05 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

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