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How do I tell my husband that I am not in love with him?

Honestly, my husband is a great guy. And, I know he is in love with me. But, I am at a point that I KNOW that I am not in love with him. Because he is such a great guy, I just don't know how to tell him this...I feel awful, so please, no bashing.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:40 PM on Jan. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • if you do not intend on leaving him, then keep it to yourself. otherwise i would say maybe try to do things that could make you fall back in love with him. or if it is bad, seek counseling.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • "In love" comes and goes. You're willing to throw away your family must because you don't "feel" it anymore? Time to grow up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • You sound like you care a lot for him but the love you expected in yourself of being swept off your feet even with a family to care for has stepped in and tumbled that. You don't sound like you hate him.

    I think 643anony is right. Personal counseling for just you can help you think of what you want in any marriage what you need and then next why you're not that in your present marriage.

    Hope you feel better.

    Answer by lfl at 7:48 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • If you have children you owe it to them to try and work it out. You should try to write a list of the things that made you fall in love with him in the first place and then try to see those things everyday when you are feeling less than love for him. You need to try to get that love back. All kids deserve a family with a mom and dad in the home, while this is not always possible, we should all try to work things out if possible.

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 7:48 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • I would hold off on saying exactly that. Just take some time alone with him and talk to him about feelings in general. I'm sure if you are honest with small stuff he'll figure it out by the end of the conversation. Then send him our way. There are a lot of us single women out here who'd like a great guy. My SO can be a jerk sometimes!

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:19 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • This is quite a dilemma. If you know you don't love him, then dont you owe it to yourself to find someone that you do? Why did you marry him in the first place? If you are not planning to leave, then don't tell him that, but if you are planning to leave, then I guess you just have to face the music and be honest.

    Answer by lowencope at 8:31 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

  • You said you were not "in love" with him, but do you love him?? Two different animals. How long have you been married?

    I've been married to the same man since I was 16. We will be celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. We love and care for each other deeply, but there have been times that we haven't felt "in love" with each other.

    If you truly love each other, then you can work out the "not in love" stages. Make time to spend together, just the two of you ... dinner and movie.

    Marriage is not a romance novel or a chick flick or a fairy tale. Marriage is a full time job and you have to work very hard to make it work and keep it together.

    I sincerely hope you figure out what you want and things work out for you.

    Answer by SpiritedWitch at 8:51 PM on Jan. 20, 2010

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