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Are you and your SO 50/50???

I wonder because I work at home, he works at home. I do everything! He works at home. I take care of the kids, doctors, ect. He works at home. I have said things, asked him to keep the dishes up. He doesn't, I get mad, he gets mad. Almost makes more sense for me to shut up and not say anything. I know he is lazy, but come on!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 AM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Yes, we're 50/50 most of the time...but there are times when my husband does more and times when I do more! Basically, we just do what needs to be done when we see it needs it! If the dishes need to be washed or laundry is piling up, or some other mess needs to be cleaned up, instead of walking by it, we agree to just address it on the spot--it makes it so much easier for everyone, and only take a minute if we stay on top of things--as opposed to spendign hours tidying up. We're also teaching our children to clean up after themselves too (age appropriate), such as putting their clean clothes away, pickign up their toys, throwing away wrappers or picking up crumbs when they're done with them. 


    I think it helps that my husband lived on his own for 15 years prior to our getting married.

    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 7:32 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • there is no 50/50. the ideal would be for each to give 100%, but that is rare.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:33 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • If he treats you with respect most of the time then hes not taking the p, so be grateful for that
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:49 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I wonder how your husband grew up. I wonder what life was like in his parents' home. This business of husbands doing domestic chores in addition to making a living is a relatively new concept. He married you with the expectation that life in your home would be like life in the one where he grew up. Now, here you are expecting him to do half the domestic chores, which is no doubt the expectation that you brought to the marriage. I'm not saying that he shouldn't help, but you can't expect to get him to help by demanding it or by thinking he owes you the help. Maybe the smart thing would be for you to give up your job and concentrate fully on running the household and let him keep his job. That would be 50/50. If that's not what you want, then try asking him if he would help you with one chore at a time. Do it together. It's time spent together and the chore gets done, which should both be important to you.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:24 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • We both work full time out of the house but most often it's like 70/30 but 60/40 isn't rare. I don't mind doing a little extra - I'm better at it :) AND if I ask him to do something or tell him that I need help - he usually does it right away!!
    mme

    Answer by mme at 8:31 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • As much as possible, we are. He's gone 90% of the time for work, so the majority of things fall to me. But when he's home, he steps up and does his part and does what needs to be done.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:41 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Your spouse sounds like a terrible roommate. You need to do a chore chart, just like unmarried roommates.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:03 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • We are 50/50.  We both work and we share the household chores and child rearing. 

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 10:46 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

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