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what is a mother to do

I have a son soon to be 16 yrs.on the 28th and still cant figure him out. he is a pretty good kid all around but, when he goeout to (play) he cant seam to stay out of trouble.OR IT FINDS HIM. He dont think befor he acts, he has been in groups to help but after awhile they or he fails and we start over. how do i get through to him ,i am lookin for the tough love programs in pa,, does anyone know of any? i want him to see how good his life is befor he ends up in jail for his young life begains.

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ninnypoo

Asked by ninnypoo at 7:27 AM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • I think a lot of kids get led astray, you can only do your best at bringing them up as parents to be good honest caring helpful and unselfish, you have to be there for them at every turn, and try to set them back on the right path, i find myself with my own children, if they behave they get bullied, if they dont they get in trouble it must be hard for the kids themselves, and you cant wrap them in cotton wool, and stop them going out you have to trust them and hope youve done all you can, at least you care enough to want the best for them and not like a lot of parents who just dont give a dam, just let your son know your there for him if and when he needs to talk and watch as much as you can for any signs of troubles, im with you on this, its not easy.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:43 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • What's a mom to do? Let him make mistakes & learn from them. I was a horrible teen. By 16yrs old I was doing drugs, sneaking out constantly (if I came home at all), skipping school, etc. I was a smart kid with great potential, but I needed to make my mistakes. My mom had tried everything from denial to law enforcement to programs, etc. She did everything under the sun & I continued down my horrible path. I ran away the summer after my sophomore year & overdosed on crystal meth. My "friends" abandoned me in fear of getting in trounle. I am lucky I survived. I freaked out & went home. My mom had completely emptied out my room. Everything was gone except a matress. That week was my wake-up week. But unfortunately, I had to go through it to learn. I apologize every time I see my mom for the way I was & all I put her through, but when it comes down to it had I not learned when I did who knows where I would be now.
    WannabeMommy87

    Answer by WannabeMommy87 at 7:43 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • You know he gets in trouble when he hands with his friends. Stop letting him go out. Make him get a job, he is old enough. You can do tough love right now. Make him do his own laundry. If he has a cell phone,take it. If he has computer access, limit it to only school work. Stop giving him money. Do not buy him anything unless he really need it.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:51 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Louise is right. Tough love isn't only a group it's something you can show all on your own. Tough love is really just a support group for those that use these methods. Have you thought about finding a psychologist, not psychiatrist, to help your son. They can do exercises with your son do help him develop more logical thinking without having someone make his mind up for him and it will also be a healthy outlet for your son. It will also help you as a parent to have someone help guide you on what to do as the parent and help you enforce the positive about it to your son. If you go this route don't expect results right away. Usually ones that change right away are only trying to fool you into giving them slack. It will take time but you will both have the support you both need to help.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 8:07 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I agree with maybe having him go get a job...but other than that...I say let him get in trouble....when I was that age, I was out doing stupid things, and my parents tried to stop me...it only made things worse...once they gave up, they started actually calling the police on me. I hated them for it then, but 4 years later I realize they did the right thing, and I would do the same for my children. If your son keeps getting himself into trouble...let him. He'll learn the hard way, and he'll grow up. Kids at that age think they run the world, and believe me...from my own personal experience, and because of a 17 yr old I'm dealing with now (family friend) I know that there is absolutely NO getting through to them. They don't wanna hear it, trust me. The more you tell them no...the more they want to act out. Be supportive, and be there for him...make sure he always knows you care, but other than that, there's not much you can do.
    michellelee3708

    Answer by michellelee3708 at 8:09 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

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