Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Breast/Bottle feeding

I am expecting #2 & agonising over the decision to breastfeed or bottle feed this time. I breast fed my first son for 5 weeks and had a rough time dealing with using a nipple shield, bra pads, nursing bra, etc.. It all just became more of a hassle than a joy, but at the same time I would have never given up the experience. I loved the time and bonding experience it gave me. My son is now turning 2 and I am due in June with the second. I am so worried that with my son running around, I will not be able to handle breast feeding and creating that peaceful environment for the new baby. My son is extremely active & defiant! Anyway, I'm feeling bad about even considering not breastfeeding the new baby, but at the same time, I feel like it might be the right thing to do. How do I get over that feeling & KNOW that Im making the right decision? HELP!

Answer Question

Asked by DAjZeZnLE at 10:25 AM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I would say try nursing and if it doesn't work at least you know you gave it a try. Maybe somebody can help you for the first few days or so while you are home. Try and give your son an activity to do while you are nursing like coloring or watching a short video. Talk to him and say that this is how mommys feed babies. Maybe get him his own "baby" to feed (even if it is just a teddy bear) or give him a little snack and so he feels included. GL

    Answer by jombmomi at 10:30 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • My opinion & this is just my opinion, is that you should try to breastfeed, you may be surprised. If you can't breastfeed what about pumping so your little one can still get your milk? Or what about nursing the new one @ times the other one's occupied like while he's still sleeping in the morning or during nap time or at night. I think you should try it before you make up your mind that it won't work, you can always give a bottle if it doesn't. That way you KNOW for sure & you don't feel guilty.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 10:30 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • You need to do what is best for you. I did not use breastfeeding bra's. i just got bra's with no wire. Lifted them up when it was time to feed. When we had our second. I made breastfeeding time reading time.

    Answer by Raeann11 at 10:31 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • i would talk to a lactation consultant beforehand about your concerns. imo nursing bras and pads are a lot less to deal with than bottles and formula. nipple shields generally aren't necessary so you might want to talk to your LC about that. gl!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • To add to what the other great mommies said, its natural that your child will have to re adjust simply because there is a demanding little baby. Even though he's active and defiante you can use this as a way to build his character to being more helpful and patient. If you truly feel breastfeeding is the best option for you and your baby don't let your first determine that. If you ask this in the breastfeeding mommies group you will probably get lots of advice from mom's who have felt this way and been through this exact situation.

    Answer by MamaChamp at 10:39 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I can't recommend this book enough-- "Nursing Your Baby" by Karen Pryor. She discusses nursing baby number 2,3,4,10 and how to deal with the family as a whole while you nurse.

    You never know. Sometimes being the big brother really changes kids. He might be very interested in helping. He might even bring you water while you nurse or help turn on soft music. Some children really love the responsibility of being the oldest.

    You can always try and switch. You can always try then pump. Having a plan A and B and C and D will help you feel best about your choices. There is a Breast Feeding moms group here that might help you too!

    Answer by ecodani at 10:41 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • "Dealing" goes with all options--- whether it's a pump & it's parts, formula and it's preparation, breasts, and the pads... There will be some effort regardless.
    Breastfeeding does get easier, though! It's nice to be able to read the toddler a book while (spontaneously) nursing baby in your lap, too. You can be on the go with the older child and not worry about making-bringing feeding gear. Your boobs are already attached, reproducing more food, and keeping it perfectly warm.

    I did do it myself, there are plenty of peaceful opportunities, and yet plenty of less than peaceful ones as well~ after all, you have a TODDLER! lol!
    But having to leave your son to make baby's food can make it harder for both of them. Staying right there playing with blocks on the floor, etc., and nursing is awfully convenient!
    Best wishes!!

    Answer by doulala at 11:09 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Just curious.. how would bottles and formula be easier with a toddler around?

    I FF my first and BF my second. BF'ing was 10x easier.. and a lot cheaper too. lol

    Give it a try you might be surprised.. don't give in the first day baby spends 24/7 on the boob tho.. my FF baby actually slept less than my BF baby did!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Every baby is different, and every toddler reacts differently to a new addition. In the end you have to do what's right for you. If you want to bf, then bf, eventually you'll figure out how to juggle things and make them work. I formula fed all 3 of my kids and I'll formula feed this one as well because that's what was right for me. It's a beautiful thing to bf, and I would never say anything bad about it, however it just wasn't something I personally was comfortable doing. All 3 of my kids were and still are very healthy, rarely get sick, and I still feel like holding them close while I bottle fed was a very special bonding experience!! I used the disposable liners, and it honestly didn't seem like much more of a hassle since I had to pack a diaper bag to go out anyway, and I had to do dishes a few times a day regardless. Do what's best for you, and don't feel bad about it either way. Congrats by the way!!

    Answer by HappyEndings at 1:28 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.