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Question about a friend

ok, I have this male friend who has been calling me a lot lately to discuss the issues him and his wife are going through. Apparently she acts like she doesn't want to be married to a military man anymore along w/ some cheating on her part. they have 3 kids together and until today I never really looked at the kids pics. Well, to my surprise, 2 of them do not look anything like him whatsoever. i know that some genes are stronger than others but seriously, there's not even a maybe so when i look at them. I wasn't going to say anything b/c it's not my business but then my other friend is like you should definitely tell him b/c that's some serious mess. But I'm thinking I should just leave it alone b/c it's just speculation. what would you do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • I think you shouldn't tell him cause it is just going to make more of a mess that there already is. I'm sure he really loves the kids its not fair to them or him for you to say anything. It would be kind of mean on your part.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • don't get involved unless he brings it up. it's not your place to pour fuel on the fire.
    xtwilightx

    Answer by xtwilightx at 10:43 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Leave it alone. You could do more harm than good.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 10:43 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Yes it is just a speculation. If you were wrong it would cause more problems in there marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I am white with brown eyes...My hubby is native american also brown eyes.... Check out my profile my DD looks NOTHING like him yet I KNOW she is his.She is pale white with bright blue eyes. Since she looks nothing like him total strangers always assume he is a step dad=( It really hurts his feelings cause he too knows she is his. I wouldnt say anything just because those kids don't look like him doesn't mean they are not his.
    Also I wouldnt assume he is telling you the truth either. Their are two sides to every story and lots of guys use this exact method to cheat on their wives. I know guys that do it! It is always the same story.."she is cheating" "she is horrible to me" "she doesn't wanna be with me" on and so forth. Take a good hard look at the situation and tell him to stop talking to you unless they are seperated. (imho I don't think he should be confiding in you cause he is a married man)
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 10:48 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • i agree with the posts above don't get involve and because he is ur friend listen to him try to make it easier ,,but don't say any thing about his kids ,,
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I think it should be left alone you got some bad advice from a friend 1st it's none of your business his problem isn't with the kids it's with his wife 2nd it makes things worse when you speculate what happens if they truly are his kids and you made a pile out of mole hill? 3rd maybe he isn't asking for your advice maybe he's just venting or needs someone to listen But whatever the case maybe there is two sides to every story and you've only heard his so far you haven't heard hers maybe he's just as much at fault as she is I'm sure any marriage that has issues they both are making mistakes :)
    chica679

    Answer by chica679 at 10:50 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • i think you should mind your own busness and stop playing innocent cuz it sounds like you want him and want to give him reasons to leave her.How ignorant are you? you never passed biology clearly a kid can look like a great grand father if the genes pop up.If you were a real friend you would befriend her and help them out,not go behind her back and cause more damage and btw theres two sides to the story,you cant belive what people tell you all the time.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • He may be venting to you about his wife, but that doesn't mean he's going to leave her. Speculation about his children will not only hurt your friend, but could really hurt his kids too. I can tell you from personal experience that children don't always look like their parents. My huband is mexican, I'm white, and all 5 of our children look like they could be from different families. Some of them are lighter than others, 2 have red hair like me, 3 have brown hair. They aren't just a combination of my husband and I...they are a mixture of our whole families. This isn't just a speculation you're about to make, it's gossip that could potientally ruin someone's life.
    lovinlifewith5

    Answer by lovinlifewith5 at 11:03 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Don't say anything. If he has questions about his kids he'll get it checked out. As other people have said just b/c the kids don't look like him doesn't mean that they aren't his. My oldest son looks nothing like me, but I KNOW he is mine.
    jombmomi

    Answer by jombmomi at 11:04 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

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