Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I Hope Things Change

I'm pregnant with my 2nd child. My boyfriend & I borke up over a yr ago bc he got scared about living with somebody who had a child & being a family. After a few months of "hanging out" I found out that I was pregnant. When I told him he wanted me to have an abortion but he knew I was against it. He didn't want to be a deadbeat dad and not live together so my son & I moved back in the house & thought that everything was going to b ok. Im 34 weeks now, having a GIRL & thought that things would get better but in a way they have & they haven't. Sometimes he seems so happy about having a baby but other times he makes these comments. Example: If I'm in pain he will ask "Is she moving around?" and I reply with "Yes & it hurts" & he says "Well u could've made the decision 8 months ago" meaning abortion. Everybody says he just needs to grow up. He's 31! He has never been 1 to talk about his feelings but I don't know what to do!

Answer Question
 
blumiaka80

Asked by blumiaka80 at 10:58 AM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • youre already having the baby, so whatever. he'll probably feel different when she comes out... and even then it may take almost a year. when she starts becoming a real little person... he'll regret those statements. good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • It sounds like he's been honest all along. He sees no reason to change being honest.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:22 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • admckenzie is right...he has no reason to change how he feels or what he says. he said he didnt want the baby, and its still coming, so he makes the comments with a "well you knew how I felt" kinda tacked onto it. I am sorry hon, this is sad. He may change, and I hope he does, because its a lonely life, t=one that doesnt feel like a family, when there is a baby and the father isnt bonded to that baby. if he will go to couples counseling try that, but if he wont...you have some big decisions to make. good luck.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 11:51 AM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I would be very concerned that any time the baby needs anything or you need help that his response is going to be that it was your decision to have her, you deal with it. If he was acting like that, I truly don't know that I would stay with him and hope it was going to get better. What if it doesn't? Do you have a backup plan?
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:17 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • He dumped you because he didn't want responsibility and you still had sex with him. Hanging out. What did you expect?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • My ex would say the same type of things. After they were born he would tell me "your the one that decided to have kids" Like I got pregnant on my own. Guys like that are jerks and usually don't change or stop saying those things. Just wait till he says something like "If it wasn't for me you and your kid would be out on the street." Which in fact I was in waaaaay better shape before him so he didn't do anything really.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 2:28 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Question about a friend

Next question overall (Trying to Conceive)
im curious.