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A mom didn't know who was in her 16 yr old sons room? Hello

My daughter was over a boys house, I knocked on the door, as my daughter knows I check the text. I knew exactly where she would be, surpriseling the mom said:
He just went in his room, I don't know who he is in there with, he always does that. Come to see it was my daughter, the door was locked, and she had know Idea what was going on. I told her, My daughter is not allowed in your home anymore. Please be sure she don't come in... I was so blllll upset. I want to blahdoufajkwhefpiuha..... She is only 14. How would you talk to your teen about this??? What more can I say to make her aware of the surroundings....and Boys....

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jan. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • I would tell her that she should have known better than to be in his room with the door closed and locked, regardless of what his mom would allow. Nothing good happens behind locked doors, and your daughter is old enough to understand that your rules apply wherever she is. I would tell her that from now on if she would like to hang out with this boy he will need to come to your house or they will need to be in public, the mall, library, etc. Even if you trust your daughter, it is too tempting to have the door closed (especially when the other mom doesn't seem like she would check anyway). Things can get carried away really fast and your job is to keep your daughter out of tough situations like that as much as possible. You could try talking to the boys mom to get her on your side with rules while your daughter is at her home but I would have trouble putting much faith in that if I were you. Teenage girls are so tough!! GL!
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:33 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • It's time to start makin' some strict rules for her. Sit her down and lay it out for her... tell her she has to have set in stone curfew, she has to tell you everywhere she goes, and who she's with and her phone.. oh her phone should be checked say every night once she's in the house, it's in your hands. Explain to her some boys are out for one thing and one thing only, at least a lot of the time. And she doesn't have to give them herself to make them like her. She has the power to say no and walk away or call you if she gets in a tough situation. I hope things get better.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 1:48 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • i'd say it's YOUR TEENS fault, good parenting on your part to know where your daughter was, but she shouldn't have been there to begin with. obviously both parents were missing a step or two between the teens.
    angevil53

    Answer by angevil53 at 2:11 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • She knows I read her text, and no she does not have a phone because she does not deserve one. Her grades are not good, she said she is doing better, and so did the teachers..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • She uses my phone, rarely....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:30 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Well...while I will admit that the mom should have known who was in her son's room, I don't think the blame is all on her OR her son. Did you not teach your daughter to not go into a room, with the door closed, with a boy? If you didn't, then you need to take some responsibility here. If you did teach her that, then you need to properly discipline her for deliberately ignoring the rules. Personally, I think a good grounding would be in order, along with no dating/hanging out with male friends.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:33 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I guess I'm just having trouble deciphering this. If she doesn't have a phone, what text did you read?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:36 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • my phone, she uses it once in a while.

    I taught my daughter not to do any of those things-be with boys alone, be in a boys home, omg, I am not an idiot...

    I am not blaming the mother only, just suggesting hello:

    HOW CAN A PARENT ALLOW THERE CHILD ALONE IN A ROOM WITH THE DOOR LOCKED. A 16 YEAR OLD CHILD....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:40 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Well, if you taught her not to be in a situation like that, she put herself there anyway. You found out and caught her and she needs discipline. Don't let her use the phone anymore simce this did happen. Oh and you are right, the boys mom should have more knowledge and control over him as well. This should not happen while a responsible parent is HOME for goodness sake. But there is a lot to be said for what makes a parent responsible or not and this boys mom definitely failed in that dept.
    mom2BOYZnDad

    Answer by mom2BOYZnDad at 3:11 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

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