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My 15 yr old daughter has turned horribly rude and mean to us, no longer wants to live with us, we've tried everything! any suggestions?

15 year old angry and hateful daughter

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • You might want to ask if something has happened to her. Don't automatically assume this but you might want to check up on her as far as drugs go and the friends shes been hanging out with.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • Stick to your guns... 15 isn't too young for grounding & removal of privileges. You don't want her to hate you, but if she's being rebellious and mean, you'll definitely want to keep your eyes on her. Remind her that you love her, offer to do some stuff with her that SHE wants to do & be as supportive as you can. Hopefully this phase won't last long.

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 9:12 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I have a 15 year old daughter as well. I've found that yelling and threatening does not work. In the past few months I've tried a ton of different things and I think being consistent is most important. When they are 15 it is all about them. When she asks you for something (and she will), remind her that the way she has been talking to you is unacceptable and she just is not entitled to whatever privilege she is asking for. Their tone turns a lot nicer when they know it may come back to haunt them...but you have to be consistent! When she starts screaming at you, just calmly look at her like she is crazy and walk away.

    Answer by MissesV at 9:55 PM on Jun. 25, 2008

  • I was that 15 year old not too long ago. Let her vent but let her know that you will not tolerate her attitude in your home and if she feels that she can do it on her own, tell her that she can but that legally she has to be imancipated(spelling??) and let her know everything she has to do to get that. Full time job, place to live, etc.... It worked on me, after my mom brought me to the court house to talk to a judge about it. After realizing how good i had it, I shut up. My mom and I are now best friends (FYI)... she'll grow up.

    Answer by ChasesMommy0115 at 12:19 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • Ok, I understand that you are in a pickle when it comes to your daughter. But, I just have to ask this, she really yells at you? Now forgive me but, you allow this behavior? How long has this been going on? And I guess the more important question is why? It is called tough love, learn it and love it. I would have never in a million years thought to raise my voice to my mother for the fear of finding out that I had been unconcious on the floor. I know that all of us come from different backgrounds, but come on ,respect is respect. If you keep going the way that you are, you will be the next person the steve or jerry springer or any other talk show saying that my child hits me and I am afraid for my life. All I can tell you is to get a back bone, and when you deal with your child, say what you mean and mean what you say. Good luck!!!

    Answer by Ressie105 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • I have a 14 year old daughter and this past year has been tough. She had some friends that were a bad influence and it took us a while to "pry" her away from them. No matter what anyone says-kids are different today than the ywere 20+ years ago-even 10 years ago. I have found that being consistent and sticking to my guns has helped. I may have to say no several times and in different ways, but if I show that I mean no, she gets it.
    I think there is an underlying reason for their behavior. Parents are the logical ones to take things out on--if they take it out on peers, they can be shunned or worse. They have to have an outlet. I'm sure you have plenty of backbone and you aren't going to end up on the Jerry Springer show--don't panic!! Be there for her--be consistent--say no and mean it-listen to her when she wants to talk-PICK YOUR BATTLES-keep an eye out, too, for physical changes and changes in friends. We haven't won the war yet, but we're winning some of the battles.

    Answer by abctch at 10:40 PM on Jun. 26, 2008

  • record her and then show it her

    Answer by Patience1 at 11:39 PM on Jun. 27, 2008

  • I said, by law, I only have to give you food, shelter and safety. When we took everything away...........she quickly realized what extra she had had.......there was no more yelling and disrespect. She signed a contract to treat others the way she wanted to be treated.

    Answer by ToldUNo at 1:14 PM on Jun. 29, 2008

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