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How do I get him to leave?

Been married for almost 20 yrs,have 2 teen boys, moved to a new state 3.5 yrs ago am upside down on my mortgage selling isn't an option. The mortgage is in my name,both are on the title w/the town. We've had the same issues for 20 yrs. The move made all of us happier, he's mellowed a bit, in the end he's the same now as he was 20 yrs ago. For 20 yrs I've not been asked about my day, if I whine to him 4 not about not asking then I get asked for a few (I do 3 12 hr nite shifts wk). He's a functioning alcoholic, some wks he isn't drinking M-Th he'll make up for it F,Sat(Sun goes eithr way). I'm sick of him passin out, 10 beers is 10. I'm the responsible adult, so sort of a single parent. When I'm off, driving the kids around is my SOLE responsibility. Occas he travels for wrk,when he's gone it is SO peacefl me n the kids watched tv togethr(NVR when he's home).Kids don't want him be here. W/out gettn legal how do I get him to go?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Change the locks while he's at work, put his things on the lawn and tell him to get out. If you're afraid he's going to be violent then get an exparte order so that you will have protection if he gets upset.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • WEEL I WAS MARRIED FOR 3YS. AN D HE COULDN'T HOLD A JOB HAD AN ATTITUDE AT THE WORLD UNTIL ONE DAY MOTHER NATURE WAS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR AND I TOOK A DEEP BREATH AND STATED TO HIM "THEAT SOMEONE HAS TO LEAVE AND IT'S NOT ME"!!!!!!!!!!! DEEP DWN THEY KNOW IT'S OVER BUT DON'T WANT TO LEAVE BECAUS THEY HAVE NO WHERE TO GO. AND IF THEY MOVE IN WITH SOME WOMAN! THEY MUST HAVE SOME MONEY AND TRY AND BE A FATHER TO HER LITTLE KIDS. IF YOU FEEL LIKE I DID! JUST THEM COMING THROUGH THE DOOR WOULD MAKE ME SICK! GOOD LUCK!
    mz.dee400

    Answer by mz.dee400 at 3:03 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Let me add, to explain further..that pretty much everything is my fault. When he can't find papers, it'sbecause I threw them out. When he can't find a screwdriver it's because of the kids. If he can't find it, it's NEVER his fault. He DOES 'clean' a little around the house, but honestly, my house has to look like the entire fraternity spent the weekend for him to do it. I feel like I can't keep up. I'm sick and tired of falling 2nd to the beer. About 5-6 years ago, I left him with the boys and went to a motel, it was the 2nd time. He'd also been removed from our previous home twice in cuffs by the cops cuz' we were fighting and he was screaming at me, and a neighbor called. I never should have gone back after I left him the 2nd time....
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:43 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • W/out gettn legal how do I get him to go?


    I'm not sure I understand your last statement.  If you are 100% sure you are done with the marriage, why don't you want to legally divorce him?  I had a friend whose husband filed for divorce without her knowing.  The cops showed up at their house, served the papers, and told her she had 15 minutes to leave the premises.  She was only allowed to take her clothes and toiletries.  She had to leave everything else, including their son.  It was over a year before she was able to get anything more once the divorce was final.


    Anyway, it seems the person who files may have the "upper hand" so again, you might be ahead doing something through the courts.

    Dyndudes

    Answer by Dyndudes at 4:10 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • In most places you can't just up and change the locks without risking breaking a law. The house belongs to you both (regardless of who's name is on what..where I live it's called the matrimonial home if it's where the married folks live and both have rights to it). You are likely going to have to get a lawyer involved unless he'll go voluntarily. The cops won't help you unless he gets violent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

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