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Feeling guilty...

My MIL is disabled, and even though she has a lot of family in our area she still leans on DH and I a lot for help. But DH and I want to move out of state to have a better shot at good jobs - there just aren't any where we are. So we are feeling a bit guilty about moving... And we can't figure out how to break it to MIL. Should we feel guilty about this? I'd like to mostly hear women's opinions who have adult children, to get that side of it...

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:23 PM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • I don't have adult children, but really, I think if you explained the reason behind your wanting to move, she would understand. Its for the better of your family. Who knows, she may end up moving closer to you guys. The sooner you talk to her, and tell her your plan the better. I don't think you should feel guilty. You have to do what you have to do to support your family. If there are no jobs where you are, you don't have much of a choice. Good luck.

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 5:29 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I'm disabled and my dd didn't hesitate to move out the state. I am doing fine. There should be no guilt.

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:36 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • You don't owe her anything and you have to put your family first. I have four grown kids that all live very close to me, I mean within minutes in the same town. My husband and I have often talked of moving somewhere else and I always feel like I shouldn't leave my kids, but then my husband (not their father) reminds me they are grown and on their own and it is now time for me to do what I want. I think sometimes us women are just full of guilt about everything. In this instance, you should not feel guilty and again, you have to put YOUR family first. Just like I tell my kids, don't stay here if things aren't working out for you, go where you have to go and do what you have to do for your family.

    Answer by TarLion at 6:15 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • OP - Thanks, everyone. I guess I should mention that, my MIL is not the most reasonable of women... When we mention the possibility of moving, she changes the subject or brushes us off, as if believing that it won't ever really happen. She also only has our son and one other grandchild, and she is terribly fond of them. My guilt kind of stems from taking our son, her only male grandchild, away from her. But you all are right - I know I've gotta do what I've gotta do...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:20 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

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