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what should I do?

I just had a fight with my husband because while I was taking a bath, he was jerking off to porn on MY laptop. The desktop was 5 feet away and I specifically asked him not to look at porn on my computer. I don't want viruses on my school computer. Then he started saying I am selfish & since I'm not going to let him do me up the butt (I'm on my period), then he should be able to help himself. I said whatever then, use the desktop. A$$... Then he goes on to say that he's gonna stop paying for cable, because he doesn't want to "share." He also added he will find someone who's as horny as he is. I told him that he doesn't do anything to turn me on. Most of our sex consists of him pulling my ass to him and just sticking it in. All I ask for is a massage. We have a 5yo and a new baby. He soes nothing to help with either. Our son is 5mo and he's never changed a diaper. Like I have energy to always have sex when he wants

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jan. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • sounds like there are wayy too many issues to address on cafemom ... you might wanna get some counseling about all of these problems
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 11:24 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • -op-

    Am I wrong for saying something about the computer thing? Should I have just let that go?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I dunno in my family what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours ... so the computer thing is not the issue the issue is the porn ... either you do or you don't allow porn. I wouldn't say anything because if I was on my period I would be glad he jerked off instead of wanting sex lol
    kaylan010

    Answer by kaylan010 at 11:30 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • He is wrong...and disgusting I might add. And as the PP said, if you plan on staying with this man, might wanna get some counseling or you are going to be one miserable mommy for a long time to come. Even if you go alone, you can at least work out your own feelings. I have been thru this, i"m sorry, it's not easy.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • Like I said, I didn't care if he jerked off. But my dad got me a laptop for school. I don't want the chance of viruses messing it up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • the computer thing? I would have been pissed that he was even looking at porn at all! i agree with the first poster-you might want to look into professional help, If my husband EVER said anything to me about finding someone else to have sex with (someone as horny as him) I would tell him to take a hike and not to look back!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I may not like porn, but if I had my own computer, theres no way my hubby would be allowed to look at that shit on my school computer. Like you said tons of viruses. Yes I'd be pissed, and the sex thing, I wish i could help, but i'm in the same boat, as well as the same boat with the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • He sounds like a horny toad. Has he always been so horny or just lately. He sounds like someone I wouldn't date ,let alone marry. Are you in love with this idiot?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • He's clearly not sexually satisfied, but he is being an ass still the same. Suggesting that he's going to go find someone else, threatening to shut things off, and just bullying you about the whole situation is petty. I understand him being horny, but there are ways to go about it in a mature fashion. It doesn't sound like he respects you at all.

    My husband is very sexually drive and I am not. We constantly have the "We're not having sex enough" fight, because I just don't want it as often as he does. He never stoops to the level your husband did though, becuase again there are mature ways to handle the situation. I think your husband is trying to manipulate you into doing what he wants It's childish. Tell him to grow up.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 11:55 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

  • I used to be able to keep up with him. That was before I had to take care of the house and our two kids. Now, it's mainly sex so he can fall asleep because he has to work the next day. Not much of a turn-on. We went to a counselor once, but she let him interrup me and basically agreed with my husband that I should do for him what he wants because I am a SAHM. Let me add that I iron his clothes for work, serve him food, make him tea whenever he asks, do EVERYTHING for our kids, rub his feet, clean the house, do all the laundry, and never bitch about him going out until 8am with his friends. (yes A.M., from like 8pm-8am). He pays the bills. I know that is a lot of support, him working to pay everything, but does that mean I should be his slave?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 PM on Jan. 21, 2010

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