Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


I'm curious. I live in Kansas, and have a three year old son. I've been married for a little over 2 years now, but my husband is not the father. He wants to adopt our son legally. His biological father has never seen him, and has never tried. He is not on the birth certificate. And I had went up to talk to them, they wanted to go after the Bio-father for child support and I don't want it, but they granted me good cause for keeping him away. Can anyone tell me what we will have to do to get this process done.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:13 AM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (9)
  • get him declared an absent father to do this you have to either name the father and then try to find him and get him to sign away his rights or what some do is to say they do not know who the father is and then it is posted in the paper that anyone who knew you and might be the father of your child needs to come forward if no one does than it is clear for your husband to adopt but why not give the dad a chance to sign it away proper. most fathers will especially if they think if they dodnn't they will have to pay child support

    Answer by mom2snsb at 12:34 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Just go to him with parental abandonment papers and have him sign away his parental rights. Tell him if he refuses to he will have to pay back child support for the past three years and will have to pay child support until the child is 15. Once he sees the giant arrears the attorney general will want for him it should be no problem. Lets say your ex makes 30,000 a year he would have to pay 20% of his paycheck for the past three years that would be 18,000 that isn't including the interest he'd have to pay on those years.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I never heard of anyone having to pay interest on back support. And 15? Its usually age 18.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I don't know where he is. He married and moved off somewhere else. I haven't had any contact since I was 3 months pregnant.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I think usually you just have to make a resonable attempt to contact the father. That usually involves sending a letter to last known address. Putting an ad in the classified section of the paper. THat sort of thing. A lawyer would be able to tell you more.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Go to a LAWYER! It's not a matter of "just having him declared absent"... You need professional advice. If you do it wrong it will bite you on the butt.

    Answer by TinaN64 at 10:16 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • You WILL most definately have to have an attorney. This attorney will advice, and most likely you will have to run an ad in the local paper for the last known address, for a certain amount of time, then, in time, if he does not reply, he most likely will have his parental rights terminated. Even though you are not aware of his location, there are many ways to locate him, and your attorney will be able to do so. Please remember, that it is important to do ALL you can to try to locate him, and give him a chance to step up to the plate, and become a father to his child. Just because, he was not, a father when he was born, does not mean he has not changed now. WE all are capable of change! Also this will go far, with your child, when explaining to him, that you tried everything you could, to give him a chance to be a Dad. JMHO, C.J.

    Answer by ceejay1 at 12:57 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I was adopted by the man that I call Daddy, and you do NEED an attorney! And gather as much proof as you can that he has not been there!

    Answer by angietomas91 at 5:09 AM on Feb. 1, 2010

  • I agree get an attorney. You will be able to involuntarily terminate his parental rights since he has failed to provide 25% of the financial support for 2 years and has failed to have any kind of relationship with the child. It will be cheaper however if you can find him and get him to agree to the adoption. I am going to court for this kind of thing on monday... and I am in kansas so i know that is what the rules are for your state. As long as we are only going to have to go to court once and my ex agrees it is only costing us $750 and that's with all the court costs and filing fees.

    Answer by RosaMae at 6:13 PM on Feb. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.