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Did you do the marriage counseling before you got married?

We decided to do it, and the preacher gave us two books to fill out, some of it by ourselves, and some of it together, but there are some really awkward questions in there. Like one asks about when is it ok to perform masturbation during marriage. Things like that are going to be very awkward talking to the pastor about.

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:49 AM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (14)
  • Yes we had counseling at my Church before we got married. I don't remember the particular questions but my Priest didn't read what we had written. We discussed some things together just the two of us and other things we talk about with the Priest.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 3:01 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • We didn't do any counseling before the wedding. We got married in my moms home town and we lived 5 hours away, so there really wasn't any time to do it. If you are uncomfortable talking with the pastor about things then I agree with PP. Discuss them with your SO and if you have a disagreement about something then bring it up with the pastor. Just remember the most important thing is to be open and honest!

    Answer by jedwards2009 at 3:11 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • YES, we had a entire weekend of marriage classes. Most the times these classes are spead over 6 weeks, but there is one put into a weekend.

    Answer by Kattykitten at 8:50 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • No we didn't and it would have saved a lot of heartache early in our marriage if we would have. If you're embarrassed about anything you need to talk with your spouse about you need to hold off on getting married just yet. If you're not completely comfortable with yourself your marriage is going to have more problems than you can even imagine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:15 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • We did premarital counseling and it was a good experience. It is basically a way of identifying any red flags before you take the big step. I remember our pastor talking about sex and our expectations of it was uncomfortable and I remember saying husband and I talked about those issues privately and found we were on the same page with it. But if you do have big differences in the way you view issues about sex, it may be worth discussing it openly with your pastor.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • we did not. i was just telling my dh the other day that it would have saved him from a lot of disappointment! he really thought that marriage would change everything for the better. we are working through things, but i think ultimately he had very different ideas of marriage than i had.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:47 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Is it possible not to talk to the pastor about that specific question or others that make you uncomfortable? To me, the whole point of pre-maritial counceling is to get you and your husband to be on the same level on different issues before the marriage so that you each know the expectations and wishes of the other. As long as you two discuss it and can come to an amicable decision, I don't see why or how not discussing it with the pastor would harm your marriage any. Congratulations and good luck!

    Answer by Crystal1124 at 10:54 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Nope, we just skipped on down to the JOP after he got back from a 6 month deployment and said "We're here to get married" and we got maarried.

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 11:33 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • We took about a 6 week course for our marriage counseling and met with the priest a few times before we got married. We had to take the FOCCUS test and NFP courses (NFP means Natural Family Planning) as well.

    It definitely helped us.

    Answer by MamaBee07 at 11:51 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • In the Catholic Church we were married in it was a requirement - it was great.

    Answer by erdavh at 11:52 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

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