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How do I get the father more on bord?

my sons dad thinks he plays with him and gets up and takes care of him however; his idea of plyin is to sit my son in te floor and give him oys, and he props up the bottle when he wakes up at night and then goes to sleep leaving my baby to feed himself at 5 months. hes always trying toget my baby to sleep even if hes not close to being sleepy! any suggestions?

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Asked by olan8809 at 9:11 AM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (8)
  • I think you should feel lucky he is willing to do what he does! A lot of men do way less than that. As for the propping of the bottle, if you have an issue with that you need to tell him.

    I got the best advice ever from a friend of mine after my twins were born..she said that if my husband did stuff to help with the kids but didn't do it the way I wanted him to, I needed to just let him do it his way, because it wasn't necessarily WRONG, just different from how I would do it. She said if I criticized him when he did stuff he would eventually stop even trying.

    Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue and let them do things their way.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 9:18 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Daddies start to get more involved when their a little older & do more than eat sleep & poop. He may think he's doing what the baby needs or may not know what to do. Ask him why he does this & explain to him that his son needs more interaction w/ him. show him some games they can play, my dd loves to play superman w/ daddy.

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:19 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • There is nothing you can do. You do not have the power to change another person into how you want them to be. There is no magic that happens when a baby is born that changes a selfish man into a loving, helpful parent. He was selfish before, and he is selfish now. It's just that now his selfishness bothers you more. Selfishness cannot be fixed by anyone other than the one who is selfish, and he first has to decide he wants to be different.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:26 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • my dh didn't really do much w/ the lo's until they were about 1!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 9:29 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • ive talked to him about it several times and he knows its not right! m baby constanly gets ear infections and im the one thats takes care of him when he gets them not the father lol thats why it bothers me about him proping the bottle up

    Answer by olan8809 at 9:43 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Why did he want a child?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:21 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • He probably is nervous and thinking he's doing a lot! Praise him for what he does and don't complain about what he doesn't do. You can gradually train him to do things you want him to do with the baby. Many men are scared of little babies. He'll probably do better when the child is a toddler.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:28 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Daddy doesn't do anymore nighttime feedings, period. Men don't really "get" babies... they don't have the same instincts as us and weren't created to care for them like we are. So... you do everything you can and let dad develop his own relationship with time. Absolutely do everything that dad does dangerously (like propping bottles), but otherwise, let him do his own thing.

    Answer by LeanneC at 12:53 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

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