Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what do you do?

How do you handle issues with your child, when they think that all your time should be with them. I keep trying to talk over and over with my son, about how important it is for me to spend time with my husband as well as it is him, but he doesn't understand it. He is 12 years old. He thinks i spend all my time with my husband when we do stuff like go to the store, pay bills, or when his parents have to go to the hospital. (my father in law passed away earlier this year from cancer) Me and my husband dont get any time alone to have actual quality time together, and it is a huge strain on our marriage. My son can be very rude on this subject too. He wants to stay the night at his friends house, and the following night my step son will stay somewhere. I try to get my son to stay one more night so me and my husband can spend that together, and he says, "you should have did it last night." My step son is 16, so he plans his days...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • My son feels like that sometimes too. And I feel bad because I feel like my time is so stretched out among everyone. I have found that quality time together as an entirety is helpful. We have come up with game night on Wednesdays..where my son gets to pick out a board game or a game on the Wii that we can all play together. Sometimes its only for about a half an hour ...but he feels included, not like me and my SO have this secret and more special relationship. Then on Friday night we have family movie night where we pick out a movie together,make a snack together and enjoy the evening. My son and I do get quality minutes in alone together here and there too. I guess its about time management and including everyone for certain things..and making a point to do so. Maybe you can schedule a "date night" every so often with the hubby and let your son know in advance but also have a "date night" scheduled with your son to hang out.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:05 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • sounds like he feels like he's not getting any quality time w/ u alone. set up a date once a week 4 u 2 & special time every day. He may not understand what u & dh are doing during your tme together, he just sees it as time not spent w/ him. also set up the same for dh, date & special time & don't let son interupt
    Nyx7

    Answer by Nyx7 at 9:36 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Um, you are the parents period. It doesn't matter what your son thinks about you spending time with hubby. You just state whats going on period. Your boys are olde enough where you don't need a sitter to have a night out.
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 9:37 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Kids are in desperate need of attention at this time in life. I agree with him. You spend time with dh. What you are doing in that time is up to you. Your son wants to spend time with you. That won't last much longer. Take advantage of it. I'd hate to think he'd turn to others for attention and end up with the wrong group of people doing things that could have been prevented by having quality time with mom. You and dh can grow old together and have all the alone time you want. Your son will make friends and be gone a lot soon then off to college before you know it. One day you will wake up and want to spend time with him and he'll not have time for you. Don't let that happen. Spend time with your son. Your dh is an adult and should understand. Have alone time when the boys go to bed.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:41 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • There's nothing wrong with including him with the bill paying, shopping, etc. Let him address the envelopes, make the grocery list, etc. It will actually help him as he gets older so he will learn how to manage money. Once he realizes that these aren't fun times he may also change his tune. Also, let him know that you are having a night out with daddy and that's the end of it. Doesn't like it then the next time he wants to spend a night with a friend tell him sorry but it's the night you planned on the 2 of you spending time together and he has to stay home with you.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 9:42 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Sorry I don't feel bad for you. This is part of having kids and being parents. You can't just push him to the wayside because he isn't a cute little kid anymore and has developed a voice and opinion. Keep this up and you'll totally alienate him and be complaining about what a bad kid he is being when he acts out to get your attention.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • No wonder he feels that way. You seem to think you are owed something because you chose to have this particular family make-up. Your son is clearly the one on the out. Plan for family outings and the occasional babysitter.
    IamPatSajak

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 10:09 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN