Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Porn

So I caught my husband looking at little girls (yes it was little girls) and I'm finally leaving... My husband is military and I don't want to destroy him but I don't want him to have unsupervised visitation with our child. What do I do? Also, I feel like I shouldn't come after him for child support or any of that, am I wrong to think this? Some family tell me that I should try to work things out with him but I can't get past this one time... (I was molested as a child, so slap in the face to see kiddie porn)
9yrs down the drain with the exception of my child (of course) ... Also, some people have defended him saying that he might be getting off on the idea of a good childhood (when he was happy) and not the pic of the child itself?? I've put up with years of him looking at porn and this was/is the icing on the cake (so to speak)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 AM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You want to protect him at what cost? Is it ok that he contributes to the exploitation of the children in those photos as long as it's not YOUR child? You should be an advocate for all children. You have a moral and social obligation that trumps any child support you'll be missing out on when he loses his job. REPORT HIM.
    IamPatSajak

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 10:11 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • 1. Call the cops. He's going to get caught anyway. It is VERY easy for child pornographers to be tracked via the web. It will save you from being suspect and having your children taken.

    2. Get child support. Not your financial burden that he is a pedophile.

    3. Sexual violence has the highest rate of recidivism of any crime. Get your children to a doc asap.

    I know the last thing you want to do is have this huge painful dramatic situation. But it's not your fault. You can protect your family. You can do the right things now for your kids and yourself. You didn't cause this. You can handle this.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 10:13 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Hell NO!!! I too would leave my husband if i caught him looking at child porn. But to be honest, you might have to put up with him having unsupervised visits. I recommend that you gather evidence against him (e.g: record his behavior, record him watching little girl porn) this could be useful in your defense. If you don't have evidence then its your word against his and like it or not, he will always be the children's daddy. Now, with respect to the child support, Hell yes get him for child support, Thats assuming that You keep the kids.
    alejandra559

    Answer by alejandra559 at 10:15 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Sorry, no wait, I am not. It infuriates me that you seem to act like this isn't a big deal. You should leave him and report him. The child support, divorce and all that are little details compared to this. I have three daughters and was also abused as a child and it disgusts me to think that some guy, maybe even your husband, is asking for pictures of little girls from pervs taking them in parks that could end up being one of my little girls. If you don't report him you are just as guilty as he is since you are enabling him to continue this behavior and not saying anything about it.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 10:16 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • childporn is child porn no matter how u look at it..its wrong and illagel. i dated a guy he was great after 6 months he told me his secret he to looked at that horrible stuff also saying he would never do that..still i had a child and wasent standing for it..he was gone that min. u need to leave him thats a big no no. also u should file for cs, u need to suport for your child wh should he get away with not helping provide for his child. even if u dont need it now what if u need somehelp down the road.. what if ur child ges to prom onto of your bills and food u gonna buy what is needed for the big night.. its his child have him help u..and get away from him..kiddie porn is more then wrong..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Wow.One question came to mind when I read this, did he accidentally pull this up and at the same time you walked in?(it was on the computer,right?). I guess in my mind I always try to seek both sides of an issue...and thats giving him the benefit of doubt. But if it is what it is..that is just awful and I can not even begin to imagine how you must feel! I would immediatley disconnect with this man. Get a lawyer and ask for thier advice on wether you should call the police or whatever. Do this as soon as possible so that they may confiscate his computer before he gets any idea to destroy it or get rid of it. Of course you don't want to ruin him...however...do you want him to ruin a child,any child, your child? Seek counseling for you and your children. Good luck and stay strong!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:21 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I just want to say that I know how you feel. My ex husband had this problem. What did it for me was when he cheated on me. You are not wrong for leaving him girl. Don't let others put you down for that. It sounds to me that you actually saw him doing this while child porn was on the screen. Right? There is always a root issue for anyone that has problems like this. It just that HE has to want the help and reach out for it. I would suggest that you talk to a lawyer and tell him or her everything, you need him to be on supervised visitation until he gets his act together. You need to protect the kids....do want is in the BEST interest for them. My new husband was married to a woman who's father of her children was molesting 2 of them for years. I don't normally do this, but if you don't have a good support system please give me a call at 541-537-0643 anytime.
    cmanasco

    Answer by cmanasco at 10:32 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Just think. By reporting him you could be saving some child(ren) from the people taking these pics of them. It can happen. As a mother don't you want to help save someone else's child from a person that would do something so horrible to them? Wouldn't you expect someone to do the same for you and your child? Do the right thing and report him and have your kid(s) seen by a doctor to make sure they are OK.
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 10:35 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • If he is looking at child porn, I would say leave him and YES go after his money. They are his children to support. He's military, so he has the means to provide for his kids. You two can come to an agreement in the court...if he refuses, the military FORCES the member to pay a large percentage of his paycheck to his wife and kids (this is an incentive to go to court and agree to a certain amount).

    That is absolutely disgusting. Little kids being photographed, raped, abused and video recorded so people (like your husband) can watch it. There would be no child porn if there wasn't a demand for it. Your husband is contributing to it.

    And if you get the evidence against him, report it to his command. I am in the Navy and trust me, I do not want to be working alongside someone like that....especially since *I* have children, too.
    jlry_ldy

    Answer by jlry_ldy at 10:35 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Good thing he isn't in my BF's unit. He would have much bigger problems. Is he using the computer you use? Is his computer connected to the military?
    Geminus

    Answer by Geminus at 10:42 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.