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Am I overreacting???

My husband knows during the week when he works I prefer him to take a shower everyday. On the weekends when he doesn't do anything I don't care so much. But during the week he is sweating all day at works and he smells. So anyway last night I went to bed early bc I didn't feel good. And even when I'm asleep I can hear everything going on around me. I can't leave the tv when I sleep bc I will dream about what I'm hearing. So I hear the dog get up and come from the den, which means DH also got up. The I feel him creeping into bed. Which ends of waking me up. So I ask if he took a shower. I get a yes. And I tell him that I never heard the water run. He is like how could you, you were asleep. Then I say you didn't take one did you. He says go check if you don't believe me. So I feel his hair dry as a bone. He says I didn't wash it. So after some back and forth he admits he didn't. I'm sorry but a lie is a lie no matter how small.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • cont. ....... I' dont know what pisses me off more the fact that he lied or he thinks I am that stupid. Am I overreacting?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Going to bed dirty is disgusting.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • First of all, you backed him into a corner. Not that I condone lying but this was obviously done out of embarrassment. Your husband is a grown man, capable of minding his own personal hygiene. If you want to discuss a problem with his self care, you need to sit down with him like a spouse and work it out, not harp on him like a mother- checking to see if his hair is dry or wet. What you did was humiliating and aggressive.

    Answer by IamPatSajak at 10:55 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • It's spineless, immature, inconsiderate, and lazy besides being dishonest.....perhaps you are pissed about him being spineless (for feeling like he needs to lie), immature (for actually saying what he said), lazy (& GROSS for not showering)...

    I don't think you are overreacting's frustrating and angering having to go after your husband like he's a little kid. My husband and I are approaching our 40's and I am still dealing with a little kid....I effing hate it.

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 11:01 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I agree wit all the above answers, it is rude not to take a shower if it is something that concerns you but on the other hand he is a grown man and should be able to make those decisions. You are not his mom, you are his friend and lover and if it was me I would just get twin beds and let him know that when he wants to shower the beds are together and when he doesn't they are separate. That way you are both happy and there will be no more pressure either way and you can both enjoy being who you are individually.

    Answer by mepperly07 at 11:07 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I get upset because they think i am that stupid and that they lied. My guy is one of the cleanest, I am so glad I don't have to get after him about showers. I thought only kids lied about showering.

    Answer by Geminus at 11:08 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I think the bigger problem here is why the hell does a grown man need someone to make him take showers. Thats just nasty. I would tell him to go sleep on the couch with his dirty self. ewah.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:14 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Well my first question to you is he depressed? Never mind that what I think of HYGINE. If a person doesnt want to take care of themselves it usually means some type of depression. Be honest with yourself. Dont look for things as a possibility or could be a fact. Is it a phase or is this something thats always been. Did he gain weight? Is loosing his hair? (men and women think by not washing their hair it wont fall out) Talk to him, in private, not in your house. I know this is gonna sound really HORRIBLE. But maybe you need to get his stuff ready for him in the bathroom. And no one please respond and say well Im not his maid, remember depression is a illness. You would get his stuff ready if he had surgery or broke his arm. If he dont want to help himself in a allotted time table then you got a big decision to make. Live with it, or dont.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:26 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • If this post was a woman posting saying that her husband won't let her sleep in their bed if she doesn't shower daily (as he tells her she MUST) you girls would be going psycho calling him abusive and telling her to leave him.

    I think the fact that you treat your husband in that manner is emasculating and demeaning. You need to take a good look at how you treat this man. Considering he goes to work every day you should be lucky you have a husband 1. with a job and 2. who works for a living.

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 11:32 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • just explain to him that you like it when he's clean he's most attractive to you then and maybe that will encourage him to be clean at all times but don't be checking if his hair is dry maybe he blowdried it or something you were probably sleeping really heavy it's called r.e.m. sleep even if he didn't leave him alone maybe he's too tired...atleast he showers some guys won't even give you that YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER!!

    Answer by chica679 at 11:40 AM on Jan. 22, 2010

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