Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Keeping Kids away from their Father?

I've had about enough of seeing questions of mothers who are attempting to keep their children away from their fathers in a divorce. I understand that some fathers are abusive, addicted to drugs and alcohol, etc., and those are reasonable standards by which time with a parent should be limited. However, just because your husband cheated on you and you're mad doesn't mean that you have any right -- legally and MORALLY -- to keep your child away from their dad.

My ex was a SHITTY husband, but he loves his kids. His kids love their daddy. Will I have to balance out dad's crappy value system with some solid ones of my own? Yes. But will my kids be more messed up by never seeing their dad and essentially thinking either "daddy didn't want me" or "mommy kept me away from my daddy?" Absolutely.

Anyone else think these ladies need to get their heads out of their asses with their entitlement and revenge issues?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I have not seen any posts such as that. all the ones i have seen in regards to keeping children away from any parent always had to do with a parent who was abusive or otherwise unfit.

    But if i did see such a post i would agree with you.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:44 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • It would be nice if I didn't have to deal with my kids ex, but I don't keep them away from him. I figure soon enough they will figure out what a jerk he is - his older son did and hasn't talked to his dad in over 8 years, since he turned 18 and didn't have to.

    Answer by missanc at 12:46 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • sorry - my ex, my kids dad

    Answer by missanc at 12:46 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I absolutely agree with you, love your kids more than you hate your ex. Period.

    Answer by gramsmom at 12:52 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • My father was never abusive he was a kind loving father. My parents were very young my mom was 16 when she married my dad 18 when I was born. When my parents divorced I was three my dad was a very active part of my life. My mom wanted my dad back as a husband and my dad did not want this. My mom got remarried when I was 10 we moved out of state, and my father was cut out of my life. We had no house phone so I could not talk to my dad, we had a post office box so I did receive birthday cards, x-mas gifts etc.. My mom never spoke badly of my father and I respect her for that. When my mom and step father divorced (my step dad was mentally and psychically abusive to us all) I was 15, I wanted my dad so badly my mom allowed me to move out of state and live with my dad. I am so thankful she did this because my dad is my best friend a excellent father. I grew up with anger that my mom took me away from my dad who was my world.

    Answer by mommiedear at 12:53 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I agree for revenge it is sad...If you want to protect them, as I do it is diffrent.
    He did drugs(smokes weed), drinks, for goodness sake he put a gun to my head, and grabbed my steering wheel while I was driving besides being a cheater and a womanizer.

    Don't judge them, unless they say. I don't want him to know them because he cheated only.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • OP you are doing the right thing and you will be rewarded when your kids grow up and aren't full of resentment. I've seen time and time again the kids realize what their dad is like when they are allowed to get to know him. Otherwise they put him on a pedestal and want to imitate his ways because they are trying to put back the missing pieces. Unfortunately, if a mom wants to take revenge out on her kids there's not much you can do to make her see clearly.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I agree with you :)

    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:47 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I do have one concern. In a day and age when we are trying to teach children what behavior is acceptable and what is not in a relationship, what example does a parent who lies and cheats set for their children?

    I believe liars and cheaters have serious, deeply rooted issues, and the subsequent behaviors resulting from these issues can and do transfer over to children. The offending spouse (or maybe even both) need help and if they choose not to get help, then there needs to be detachment and limited visitation by the former spouse/bf/etc. and the children until help is sought and progress is made towards changing the negative behaviors.


    Answer by TheLexxi at 1:00 PM on Oct. 13, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.