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HELP ADVICE to butt into husbands affairs?

ok im a mother of 3 children, couple years ago we refinanced our home tto remodel it, we took money out, now my husband lent out our 30, 000 thousand to a friend to invest in a shop, it's been 3 years and the friend has not repaid us, verbal agreement was 2 years and my husband is to embaressed to nag the guy for the money, so should i talk to the friend , my husband says to stay out of the affairs, but that was our money, and now, my children, have no heat, or no warm water at home, to even shower, we need the movey to finish our remodel, and my husband, says wait one more year, why ? now i i know if we tell his friend we need it in a month, he will pull it out of his A!@#, but my hubby is not that type of person, what do i do, do i jump in, and risk the termoil to follow, when my hsbnd finds out, or do my kids, just keep, showering at grandmas, and wear layers inside the house, and wait one more, help

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Money & Work

Answers (8)
  • A verbal contract is worth the paper it is written on. A lawyer may be able to help; chances are, the money is gone

    Answer by rkoloms at 3:43 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • All I can say is WOW, you will never see that money again. Never EVER lend people money that you can't afford to never see again.
    Having said that......Heck yeah, I would be on the phone with that jerk demanding repayment of that money! Please realize though that a verbal agreement means absolutely nothing in court. So if you can't get him to repay on your own, you have no recourse and can basically kiss that money goodbye.

    Answer by slw123 at 3:53 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • 30,000 is a lot of money to just "give" to someone.

    For instance, if your income is, maybe, 35,000 a year, why would you be giving someone 30 K and not expect repayment?!?

    Makes no sense.
    A jury would see that NO ONE would just "lend" that kind of money to someone and not expect repayment!

    So, your husband should talk to an attorney.
    Maybe there would be some way you could recover something in court.
    See your local Legal Aid.
    They usually have a long waiting list, so I'd get on it now!

    Answer by mustbeGRACE at 5:24 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Tell your husband to grow a pair. How can he be more concerned about making his friend uncomfortable when he's family is suffering. Tell him to get his priorities straight...or you'll do it for him. 


    Answer by Farrahann at 6:56 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • How is it that there is no heat or hot water? That's insane. You lent a friend $30 000 even though it meant having no heat or hot water? For three years?

    After three years my husband wouldn't even have the choice. I would simply tell him "I'm getting our money back whether you like it or not" and then I'd go talk to this so called friend.

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 7:42 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Also, why would you take money out for renovations, start the renovations and then give away the money, leaving the renovations you started unfinished? This makes no sense. This sounds a bit unbelievable.

    Answer by EmilyandIsaac at 7:46 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Tell your husband to grow a pair. How can he be more concerned about making his friend uncomfortable when he's family is suffering. Tell him to get his priorities straight...or you'll do it for him.

    Couldn't have said it better myself......You and your kids don't DESERVE to live that way if you all had the money there to begin with. Did he consult you before he made this loan? The ladies are right, verbal doesn't do well in court, I suggest trying to email him about it, ask him about repayment and if he responds as if he really owes it. THAT will hold up in court. Judges to look at emails and if he says anything like "sorry I haven't had it" or "I'll get it back to you as soon as I can" ....that's admission. It will help your side should you decide on court options.
    But I do agree, tell your husband to do it himself or you will. Your family doesn't deserve to live that if they don't have to.

    Answer by MamaCharity at 8:36 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • something sounds fishy here---if he is putting this guy over the health and well-being of your children than I am sorry to say he might have done something else with the money and isn't telling you the truth. I would demand to know what the heck is going on. Your children/family should always come first. Good luck-this doesn't sound good hon!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

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