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Keeping the peace for our childrens sake

I seperated and then divorced from my xhusband over 2 years ago. We've been able to keep peace for our childrens sake, but his new gf wants nothing to do with me, not even a nice hello, how are you kind of a relationship. Should I speak my uncomfortable feelings to my childrens dad, or let it go? I am only concerned because they are talking marriage. Anything I can do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:41 PM on Jan. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Well, it's really hard to say because i'm sure there is a lot to the story, but all I would say is, be the better woman right now. Teach your children to be respectful, and they will respect you. I don't know really what your relationship is with your ex, but maybe he'll notice on his own if you maintain your dignity.... Just a thought....

    Answer by Adelicious at 8:46 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I would. I find it really important for everyone to get along and have no tension for the kids. My ex and his SO and myself and my husband all get along pretty well. We don't hang out in our spare time, but we can have our sons birthday party and all be around eachother and there is no tension and everyone talks. Maybe she feels threatened by you or maybe he's said some stuff about you and she feels it's her job to be mad at your for it. I would talk to him and if it doesn't change I would talk to her and let her know that you and your ex have been working to keep the peace and you need her to participate.

    Answer by TruckersWife426 at 8:46 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • Why would you want to have a relationship with her? I wouldn't. Just talk to him about the children and let her go. As long as she treats the children with respect then that's all that matters.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:47 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I would say something to him, like "You know I am really excited for you and the kids that she is a part of your life and I want to make her comfortable with me because I know that we will be working together for the kids sake for several years down the road, what can I do?" and if he says nothing, then leave it alone. She will be their stepmom (I am a stepmama too!) and I just NOW had that conversation with my stepson's step dad and it is NICE. The kids come first and foremost, she needs to feel like a team mate NOT the competition.

    Answer by MamaRoberts at 8:55 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I am sure she feels threatened by you. You were someone he loved before her and had children with I am sure she knows you will always have a place in his heart and life probably makes her uncomfortable. My ex's new wife was this way with me the first year. I sent her a card on Mother's Day and thanked her for being so kind and wonderful to my children. I let her know how lucky my kids were to have her in their life and wrote some other nice things. She called me in tears and told me she felt threatened and thought I hated her. I told her I never hated her and am glad my ex is so happy with her. She is great with my kids and we are close now. So close when I lost my job she asked me the difference between my former pay and my unemployment and sent that to me every month until I found a new job. I would take that step if she is good to your kids might make a difference.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • She's nobody to you and you don't have to speak to her. You must teach your children to be respectful as has already been noted and you must lead by example. This will help them in their adult lives with other people they may not like.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • YES,
    I was fournate enough, that my EX-HUSBAND, was BIG enough to be a decent person to my son's step-dad
    ( who is now gone),
    I would just....
    be nice, and friendly to her..... and
    LET IT GO.....she may, IMO......
    see you as a threat.....
    LET IT GO....JUST BE NICE...(kill, her with KIDNESS)...LOL

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 10:39 PM on Jan. 22, 2010

  • I was in a similar situation over 10 years ago. My exs new wife wouldn't talk to me at all. She wouldnt even look at me. I never could figure it out but I just well enough alone. Needless to say, one day I was telling my ex that I needed winter coats for my sons and couldn't afford it. I was really broke even though he paid child support. I told him that I would get them as soon as I could. Later that day, I heard a knock on the door and it was my husbands new wife. She had 2 coats in her hand for the boys. She didn't say anything at all to me. I thanked her. I realized then that she was just shy and I think it was hard for her knowing that I was married to her now husband. I was glad I had trusted myself and been nice to her and didn't complain about her not talking to me.
    I am not sure about your situation but I would just assume the best unless something tells you otherwise! Just be nice to her and smile at her.

    Answer by bjane01 at 12:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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