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how do i help my sister?

So i have ha some problems with my sister lately thinking she is older than she really is. let me go back really quick..we have the same dad/different moms and didnt really grow up together. i am almost 29 and she will be 17 in sept so we also have that age gap. anyhow...she started dated this boy and within 2 mths they were engaged and having sex. okay whatever right? well last night she tells me that she is going to try and get pregnant by the end of the year and her mom is basically okay with this. Now i am freaking out cause really she can barely get to school it seems like half the time then take care of a baby at 17. but like i said her mom seems okay with everything that has been going on. I dont know what to do. i mean i could tell our dad but he isnt fully in her life for day to day things. and that relationship is a whole nother story. Is there anything i can do to show her she is making a mistake? or leave it alone?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:15 AM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Best you could do is explain to her your fears for her with love and not sound over bearing and then leave it be. If she is meant to get pregnant she will if shes not she wont. If you push the issue it will only push her away. Somethings need to be learned the hard way. I am a firm believer in that because that is the way I was raised. Tough love. My mom would try to pound stuff into my head and it only pushed me away but once I was away she didn't chase me down and try to fix everything. She let me learn the hard way that life isnt easy and I eventually came crawling back. But she was always there for me if I needed her but she kept me at a distance and did not allow me to walk on her or take advantage of her. It killed her but it made me a better person today and I respect her so much more now that I am a mom. I only hope that your sister will evenually grow up and see that as well. Prayerfully you are in my thoughts!

    Answer by MamaCass05 at 2:23 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Call around and find groups that have women speak against teenage pregnancy and sex because of what they went through, she needs to see that this is not an easy road especially if you are not educated with a job skill.

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 2:33 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • best you can do without saying your making a mistake is to talk to her about the reality of having a child. is she really ready to miss prom cause she is due anyday. how will she pay for diapers and formula. streatch marks and sore boobs are something most teenagers don't want to think about. just tell her I love you and want to make sure you have thought this all out and then start down the list. how will she pay for a sitter to go out. where will she live. as many things as you can think of. I doubt she will listen but you have to try

    Answer by mom2snsb at 2:37 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Take her on maury and get her taking care of a baby and finding out how hard it is or something.. if she's really not ready she will realize it... or just talk to her or maybe find a friend of hers that feels the same way as you that will talk to her together or talk to her mom and try to convince her that your sister isn't ready... if all else fails you should tell your dad maybe he can say something..

    Answer by Jan0609momma at 2:39 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I would have her spend her weekends helping you take care of your kids and help her to make a budget showing how much money it takes to have a child. You can only say so much with some people its really hard because they don't want to listen but maybe you can show her. Just how much work kids can be. Let her know straight up that yes some days can be easy but then there is no break from the kids when they are not behaving and that you can't just go out when you want.

    Answer by lildsmommy92908 at 3:16 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Thanks for all the wonderful ideas ladies... i thought about letting her come over after school and on the weekends to watch my 3 year old and try and take care of him to see its not all roses. but she lives a couple towns over and every time i ask to have her my step mom her mom comes up with a reason she cant. like the last time i asked she got grounded...but then was all over the place doing things. Maybe i will take her to lunch and talk to her about starting a budget and getting things together for a baby. and what to except when she is pregnant like you said sore boobs, no going out having fun, throwing up, and thats before the baby comes...maybe i should give her what to expect when expecting lol...sorry its not funny. i am just worried for her. would it be wrong to say something to the health lady at school and get one of those mech. babies for her?


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:39 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I say get one of those babies, but if you can get her to stay for a weekend, just go get her and say you need to bond or something then let her see how it is with a real baby, you can also set her alarm to go off every two hours like when you have a newborn, you can usually find groups at the health dpt that can help you find those babies and to find real mothers wiling to help with real babies things like that

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 3:53 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • i know what you mean but you can try what you said sit down and have her make a list and be support of her cause she does look up to you it sounds like cause she told you and she just wants your support and you dont want to make it were she just does it cause you tryied talk her out of it i know shes only 17 im going though this kinda with my sister she not really ready for a baby right now she cant even take care of her self let alone a baby and shes almost 20 i know shes older then 17 but its not really about age as much as it is about if you ready for a baby one thing with my sister is shes trying to be like me and im 23 so its only a few age between us but because im preg shes trying to get preg and she been with this guy for about a month and half to 2 months to me i think there moving fast the only thing really is show her how hard it is and how much money and say you will be there for her

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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