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Was it harder to date when you had kids?

I was wondering if it was harder to date if you have one or more kids. I asked a guy friend if he wanted to date my cute single friend w/3 kids and he wouldn't because she has 3 kids. Did your man care? Did you have trouble dating?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Yes alot do care. Alot of men want their OWN kids or none.
    Most men also dont want to deal with the who " baby daddy drama"
    I cant blame them it would be hard for me if I were single to date a man with kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • My sister has been dating this guy since her son was 3 months old he is 18 months now and she is still dating him although she is living with him now most of the time anyway. I think it depends on the family and how they accept the baby or kid and things. My sisters BF accepts the baby like it was his own and most guys don't he calls him his son. The babies dad has never seen him anyway. When they go out and things his parents watch the baby who also accepts the baby as their grandchild even though he isn't really. So I think it depends on the guy you date and their family. But my sister doesn't seem to have any problems dating

    Answer by mommy5409 at 11:16 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Depends on the guy. I have, in the past, dropped a guy after date one or two b/c it was clear he didn't get that I had kids and therefore, could not just drop everything to go out when he called. However, when my SO and I met, he was completely understanding of the fact that I had kids, and that he would have to fit himself into my schedule. Once he met the kids, things got much easier, b/c then I didn't have to always worry about arranging a sitter and such to see him, it was like, "hey, come on over for dinner!". My SO loves my kids, and we have even discussed the possibility of him adopting them if we get married. Other guys don't really want to deal with the kids.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 11:16 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • after reading the one below me in the first post my sisters BF has also said something about adopting her son when they get married

    Answer by mommy5409 at 11:18 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • i think it has todo with the guy and then how the woman expects the guy to treat her is also hard to deal with the ex's in some cases (lets face some people have crazy ex's) its a lot for men/women to think about when dating someone with kids

    Answer by cara124 at 11:21 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I was divorced after my 2nd son was born. I didn't find dating to be any harder than without kids actually. But just like tropicalmama said above, I dated a few guys that didn't understand that me having kids meant I can't just leave every night and go out clubbin, or go to a movie or anything. It had to be arranged and further there were days that I wanted my kids to have fun and go out. Some guys want to date you and not have your kids involved and other guys will date you and pretend to like your kids and you end up finding out they're crap. It's a 50/50 chance, be honest about having kids and let them know from the first step that if they're gonna have a problem with kids or you not being able to go out at the drop of a dime then they can go on their way. This weeds out most of the idiots and the guys that are willing to stay may genuinly care....I found a man that loves my boys and has been with me for years!

    Answer by LynnB1 at 11:28 AM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Yes it is unless the man has kids himself, it all presents problems, if he doesnt have kids would you be prepared to have more, and if the relationship progressed would you be prepared to have extended family if he does have kids its very difficult and i can understand single mums having casual relationships because of all this, although it may ruin their reputations

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • the two guys i have dated didnt care (yes i was only with one at a time i didnt cheat)

    the first guy i was with for almost 4 years he said he didnt mine me haveing my god-son and then i found out after we broke up he hated the fact i had my god-son and its made me mad that he lied to me from the start and i found out he just was useing me and he also had another girl-friend

    i then got with my best friend and he said the reason he fell for me was seeing how i took care of my god-son and that he was looking for a girl that he can be with and start a family with and we tryied dateing never in my mind did i ever think we were going to fall madly in love we been married almost 4 years and were due in july with our first and every day more and more we both feel we're falling more in love with each other every day

    so where im get at is it does depend on the guy but she should be careful for the guys con

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • con.

    the guys that will use her

    i know my story is differnet cause it was with my god-son not by blood but i was rasing him

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • When I met my husband (21)I already had two kids. Is not harder to date when you have kids. It is very hard, to keep a relationship, when you have the kids form hell.....Only because no man want s to get married to a family. It also depends how old you are. If you are young, you are probably going to meet a young guy that has no kids and want his own family. If you are older, you are probably going to find a man that already has kids. In my situation, my husband was young and although he liked me, he did not want to ever get married or have kids. What made it easier was, that although I was a single mom, the kids where very well manner and respectful. The type of children you have, will determine if your dating is going to go smooth. you can be a great girl, beautiful, independent....but if your kids are loud, disrespectful...and all those unwanted things, you will absolutely have a problem not dating but keeping that man!.

    Answer by BiBi2010 at 2:57 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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