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why did i get jumped on for asking my hubby to be home at a certain time...come one cafemoms!

i asked a Q last night about my hubby being out late after i asked him to be home at 12.30. he goes out at least once a week and has a habit of coming home at 3 am although he knows i cant sleep without him home bc i have to unlock all the doors for him when he gets here. i asked him to be home bc he had to work the next am and also bc i wanted him to be home earlier than usual but i got a lot of shit from women saying i was acting like his mother. he gets out plenty with his friends and does exactly what he wants while i am ALWAYS home with the kids or at work myself, so why am i the bad guy for askin him to come at a decent hour. geez some of u women kill me! "oh your not his mom are u" please what was wrong with me askin him to come home???


Asked by secondtyme520 at 1:04 PM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,344 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Give her a break. She may be stir crazy from being with kids all day. It can be hard to think straight when you don't get enough help or adult time. Or hell alone time. If you don't have a balance in your home then things can seem worse than they are because you feel stuck and frustrated. And when you feel that way you can overreact to things initially. But I still don't see anything wrong with her asking him to be in early on some nights. She deserves a break. He would go crazy too if he was the one at home. If you are feeling a little insecure about him being out too much then maybe you guys need some adult time. Maybe if you get a little more of his attention once in a while (go on a date) then you wouldn't take it personal that he is out winding down with friends. Sit down and talk to him about it. Or set up a date night and ask him out.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 2:59 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • nothing, you are married, with marriage comes compromises.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 1:05 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your husband to be home. If he was a good husband, he would not be out with his buddies all night. The fact that you put up with him doing this at all says that you are NOT his mother! You are not being unreasonable at all.

    You might try to figure out why he needs this time away from you and the kids. He may just be the type who likes to be with his pals and do guy stuff, but he is a husband and a father and that needs to come first in his life. Talk to him and tell him HONESTLY how you feel and that you are hurt by the way he is behaving.

    Answer by neebug3766 at 1:09 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • nothings wrong with that...he'd be lucky to get out if it were my guy =) I feel like once your married and have children you really should kiss all that shit goodbye. If my dh wanted to go out i wouldnt mind because he never does. He wouldnt mind if i went either bc i never go...we enjoy each others company.

    Answer by shay1130 at 1:10 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I find nothing wrong with you asking your husband to come home.  He did tell you he would be home around 12:30 right?? If he was running late he could have called to let you know.  You are not acting like his mother your acting like a caring wife.  I suggest you get out once a week with your friends and see how he likes it!!


    Answer by mommiedear at 1:12 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • If he makes a habit of it then hes takin the P, keep an eye on the situation and then if nothing changes get yourself out for the night till the early hours and see then if hes havin the same conversation with you, but do it more than once or hell think your just trying to prove a point.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Because you posted it like this....

    what would u do if DH came in late from being out with friends? i told him to be him around 12.30...its now 1.30 n he is just calling to say hes is on the way....disrespectful right???? how would u react


    Answer by Allergic2Stupid at 1:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • yea...i posted it like that bc i was ill. hell it was almost 2 am and i was still up waiting and pissed! so now i have to sweeten up my rants ab my DH bc some women will act like im some controlling i wanted to vent...n got bashed for no good reason! hell im venting now!

    Answer by secondtyme520 at 1:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • every marriage is different....if you ask him to do something then should respect it same way as if he asked you to do something you should respect it.....I dont see a problem

    Answer by LynnB1 at 1:28 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I think you're insecure, OP.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Jan. 23, 2010