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What should I do? I don't want to lose him because I like him a lot but I don't want him to think that I am desperate either.

I have been texting this guy I used to go to school with 8 yrs ago for a couple months now after finding eachother on FB. In the beginning we would text everyday, getting to know eachother better, then it stopped. For a while, he would randomly text me and he would tell me that he wants me to move where he lives (4 hrs away) now we hardly talk at all and usually I initiate it. I know he is busy being a single dad and going to see his daughter. When we do text, it is like no time has went buy. He is very sweet towards me. Last night I brought up visiting eachother and he said as soon as he gets a break from school. He asked me if I still wanted to hold his hand and I said yeah and asked him the same question. He told me every second of everyday. I am just afraid that if I don't text him and keep it going, he will move on and forget about me. What should I do? Keep texting or wait for him to text me (which could be never again)?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • You sound like you still in HS. It takes two to make a relationship happen.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Wait for him to text you. Don't make yourself look desperate. If you are meant to be together, it'll happen.
    LuvBug3

    Answer by LuvBug3 at 1:11 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Hes pushing you to see what you will put up with, put him on a back burner, dont text, or anything get yourself busy too busy to think about him, and if he really wants you he will make the effort, in my experience the second they dont put you first its time to say they are a lost cause.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • OP HERE - Well, we are not in a relationship but I haven't had very good experiences in the past with pursuing men. Not sure what it is but I don't want to screw this possibility up and I don't want to push him away.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I think that he needs to make an effort too. I was a single mom for 2 boys and when my now SO found me he was a single guy with no kids. He knew I had two boys from the get go. He obviously had more time available for me than I had for him but I always found the time to text back, initiate calls or texts and what not. I knew we both had a connection after a while and I wanted to pursue it as he wanted to pursue me. The relationship works both ways and you both have to put in the same effort.

    So my point here is, I have 2 kids and go to school full time and I always found the time to contact my man now. If he wants a relationship or to develop a relationship he should be initiating contact as well...it can't be one sided.


    You know if you want to have a little fun and just get your mind off of things, get on the Plenty Of Fish network....its actually fun and you can meet (online) different people. (cont)
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 1:23 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Before my man now I was on there and met lots of people and wrote back and forth and it occupied my time. This way I had something better to do than focus on one person.......if thats not something you like just find a hobby or what not....just keep your mind busy so it doesnt keep going back to him. Hope that helps!
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 1:24 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • It sounds like you are pursuing him and he's the one trying to see just how far he can make you chase him. Beware of this hun. You may not want to screw up this possibility but it sounds like you are desperately seeking his attention, which could be a stepping stone for the future of this relationship. It sounds like he is more important to you than you are to him. I get that he is busy being a father and going to school and all the things that come with that but, he should MAKE the time and let you know that you are important by texting you...if you are always the one who is texting him and chasing him then you will always be the one in the relationship who initiates the attention and you may always be put on the back burner. Stop texting him, give him a chance to text you and show you that you are important in his life. As it is now, you are just being a bit too desperate for his attention. There are other men out there if
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 1:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • this one does not work out. Don't think that if this one doesn't work that you are at your end, you aren't. There are many fish out in the sea...ones that will let you KNOW that you are as important to them as they are to you. So, give him a chance to prove it, if he doesn't then you need to move on sweetie or live a life where you will always be the one who is trying to get the attentions of a man who doesn't seem to want to make an effort to show his attentions towards you.
    AWomansMind

    Answer by AWomansMind at 1:27 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • If it's meant to be it will be. Don't try so hard. Let him do some of the work if he's interested. If he's not then he was just meant to be a friend from the past.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:19 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Wait for him to text~!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:00 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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