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After reading some questions/answers on here I am kind of annoyed..Why are so many women on here ok with being treated like crap by their partners?

Now I am in no way trying to tell anyone what should work for them and their relationship but I am wondering why so many women give answers like "Just be happy you have a man", "Just be happy he comes home" "He deserves to be lazy because he works". I really don't get it. Do women/mothers/wives not deserve to be treated fairly with respect? I thought relationships are about compromise. If a woman comes on here to ask for advice because she is frustrated with a current situation in her home then I see that there has obviously not been a compromise btw her and her partner. So what is wrong with her seeking out some advice for that and to not be attacked with answers like that. All they sound like is, just settle. Just ignore your needs and wants because if you don't your man will leave. Are we as women supposed to be drones?

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Asked by IzzeAddy at 3:13 PM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't get it, either, because I'd never accept that from my husband. if my husband treated me like some of the husband's I hear about...he wouldn't be married to me. My husband and I are partners, and best friends. I wouldn't have it any other way, and neither would he.

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 3:14 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I found myself thinking the exact same thing last night when I was reading posts on here...things like..'my man goes out with his buddies & stays out till 2 am, once a week...should I be upset? HELL YA~! Imho I think men use the 'night out with the buddies' thing as a cover up for booty call night..seriously, call me cynical but that's been my experience...and not just that, but women put up with so much crap, and so much NEGLECT...why don't women feel they deserve to be treated with respect, kindness, love..? I have been guilty of the same in my past..not knowing my worth, I had to kiss a few frogs to figure out I deserved a prince and now I have one and Idk how I ever put up with all the former bs~! Live and learn I guess.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I don't get it either. My husband better have respect for me,be helpful,listen,etc,etc or he won't be my husband anymore.

    Answer by AngiDas at 3:34 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • We've been led to believe that this behavior is normal,and we should expect and accept it.I say B.S! I'm so happy that my husband is one of the good ones.There are women who see this from their own parents,and unconsciously seek out the same type of guy out of familiarity.Sad,but true alot.

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 4:50 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Here's my opinion: you knew what he was like before you married him. The things that annoyed you when you were dating are only going to annoy you more after you are married. Quit thinking that you're going to "change" him. Give him a reason to WANT to stay home and not go out with his buddies. Happily married men WANT to come home and be with their wives and kids, they don't seek refuge someplace else. Quit whining to your mom, your girlfriends and co-workers about what a jerk your husband is. How do you expect him to feel when you're badmouthing him to everyone? How would YOU feel if he was trashing you to everyone? When you have a disagreement, talk it out with EACH OTHER and not outsiders. What you did to GET your husband is what you have to do to KEEP him. Don't let having kids be an excuse to let yourself go and neglect yourself and your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:29 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • ANON: I agree that couples should not bash eachother to other people. Have you considered that the men who don't come home don't because of something with them and it isn't automatically because of the wife. And he may be bad mouthing his wife to his buddies too. We are all quilty of getting annoyed with our partners anyway. Things won't always be perfect because people are not perfect. So I think it is fine to want and need a break from eachother. If you need to vent about something it is usually always better to vent to a close friend than to the one you are venting about. Sometimes always venting to them about them is why they wouldn't want to be around. That is true for men and women. I agree that if he is a jerk when you are dating him then you should have sense to not marry him BUT not every guy starts out that way. Sometimes people get married to young or too fast and don't get to know that person completely. Then ..

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 7:03 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • that other side comes out and you don't know what to do with it. Your first instinct may be that you shouldn't be married anymore but a lit of people may not want to cut their losses and think they can work through the issues they have. If they feel that way then that is when people seek out advice from others. Plus when you are going through a tough time you need friends around you can talk to. Sometimes you get involved with someone that you feel you knew very well and they change because they are the ones that jumped into the relationship to fast or soon. I mean we are all different. Maybe the wife thought things out and felt she knew him. Maybe he led her to believe he felt the same thing until years later he snaps and isn't 'that guy' anymore. There are many different situations you can find yourself in. No matter what happens noone deserves to be treated poorly and it isn't just the woman's job to keep her man at home.

    Answer by IzzeAddy at 7:06 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • EXACTLY !!!! Thank YOU ....
    I own an ABUSE GROUP.. ' Guardian Angels"
    I've see women ran over everyday.....
    A relationship should be 50/ 50/.
    He and She, should treat each-other with RESPECT.
    I do believe, a lot of people, do not understand ABUSE.
    It can go both ways a lot of women hurt their husbands.????
    You have given ladies a lot to think about, Thank You

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 8:03 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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