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What would you do if your man was hiding this?

Ok so my dilemma is this: One night I went to log into myspace and my man freaked out over an account being signed in. He made it out to sound like someone else must have remotely accessed this account and that is why it was signed in because he lost the password and access to the email to it a long time ago. Psh whatever. But then I got to thinking about it and decided to install a keylogger to see if I was just overthinkig it or if I had warrant to be suspicious. well lucky me found two email accounts that he is emailing totwo of his exs one being an ex wife. while he hasnt exactly confessed his undying love for either one he made it clear that he was planning on making contact with one to return some personal effects. I know the content of the messages are benign but the fact that hes hiding it from me really pisses me off. How would you react?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:28 PM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Simple.. I hate being embarrassed.. That would embarrass the shyt out of me. I would feel like these other women were laughing in my face about what a fool I am or how they could have him anytime they wanted.. I would tell him to kick rocks!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • If you have to hide it, you're doing something wrong. JMO

    Answer by EvaSerenity at 7:31 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I would definitely bring it up. start by telling him that the fact that he is talking to these women is not a big deal (as long as he is appropriate) but the problem is that he is hiding it from you. try to be as non confrontational as possible, and be prepared, he is going to be pissed about the keylogger.

    Answer by rhianna1708 at 7:31 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • idk.
    that's a tough one because it seems like the reason why he is hiding it from you is because he thought you wouldn't be okay with it in the first place. ...not that that excuses his actions. Just something to think about.

    And personally, i think he has just as much reason to be upset with you for not confronting him about your feelings in the first place.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 7:33 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Well, my SO is still friends with many exes. But that is all they are, friends. I know this without doubt and I trust him completely. This, of course, means that he doesn't hide anything from me. Since you kept thinking about it and then installed a keylogger, I tend to think (and I could be wrong, and if so, I apologize) that you might be the type to be suspicious, maybe a tad jealous. IF that is so, then that may be why he hid it from you. Doesn't mean that it's right for him to hide it, doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. But maybe some better communication is in order so that the two of you can not only get past this issue, but also so that you can prevent it in the future.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:33 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I'd be mad and upset too. You're his wife, he shouldn't feel the need to hide anything from you. He lied about the email accounts, and by doing that, he may as well have been confessing his undying love to them. There's nothing special about these broads that should make him hide them from you. Talk to him about it and see what his deal is. Maybe he was afraid that you wouldn't approve of him contacting them, but lying to you about it isn't helping his case much either. Good luck.

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 7:34 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • oooooo....leave now, or just completely forget about. if you're like me and can't actually get over things like this then i would leave before it gets really bad.

    Answer by angevil53 at 7:37 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Unsure, did he hide it because he knew you'd be upset? Med do make stupid choices. I'm friends with exs so it's hard for me to say.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:45 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • this could go many violated his privacy by doing what you did but he shouldnt be hiding things..but i think since the content is harmless, then you have nothing to worry about and bringing it up to him will make him not trust you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Theres a reason he hid it...I communicate with an x online and we still sleep together occasionally... there's really nothing in the emails we exchange that would indicate there's anything going on with us, not trying to hide anything from anyone, were both single, we just don't roll that way...I mean talk sexually or flirt or anything, with x's, you're past all that flirty sex talk stuff...or we are anyway.. so I'm just saying, just because the messages seemed benign it doesn't mean there's nothing going on, just the fact that he hid the acct. and is communicating with them secretly would be enough for me to pack my bags.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Jan. 23, 2010