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Have you lost a parent?

I am very fortunate to still have both of my parents alive and well (they're 47 and 54), but I have such a tremendous fear of them dying...I always have. I am extremely close to both of them...they truly are my best friends, and I just can't imagine living without them. I feel as though when they die, I'll miss them so much that I'll just want to die myself. How do you prepare yourself for something like this? I'm scared I'll literally go crazy with grief. Even the thought of losing one of them makes me cry, and almost makes me panic. How do you deal with something like that?

 
StefanieN84

Asked by StefanieN84 at 8:07 PM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (40 Credits)
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Answers (33)
  • I was 12 when my father died of a heartattche, so we never saw it coming. It was dec. 19, 1984  and my grandfather his dad died five days later from the same thing. So it was a double hit. I am now 37 and still miss him to this day, so be very glad you have had them this long. I do have memories not alot but some, he was in the army so he was gone alot. Just enjoy then while you can, I hate that he never got to see my  3 wounderful boys, or walk me down the isle at me wedding, but i know i will see him again one day. Dont waist time thinking about what and when it might happen enjoy then while you have them. They could live to be in their 90's you never know. Good luck, with learning how to handle this fear of something you have no power over.

    stormy191

    Answer by stormy191 at 8:24 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • My father died when I was 2-he had cancer and said he had a week to live, he couldnt stand the pain anymore and shot himself in the head with a gun he hid under his side of the bed when he was still able to move. I watch videos of him and cry of course but you have to realize you WILL see them again :) I am 21 now and dont have ANY memories...be glad you will
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • You deal with it because you don't have much of a choice. When my father died unexpectedly the pain was almost physical, he was only 67, and supposedly healthy, and one day he was gone, it has been 25 years and I still miss him, so it is a wound that never really heals. Now instead of crying when I remember him, it brings a smile to my face, because I remember him dearly. I consider myself lucky to have had him for the time I did, but I still miss him and always will.
    older

    Answer by older at 8:16 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • yeah i lost my mother to leukemia at the age of 6. it was really tough not having her around and now especially since i have kids. i have always been pretty close with my dad and hate the thought of losing him. but i always think, when loved ones die, at least they are in a better place and ill get to see them again!
    juandmad09

    Answer by juandmad09 at 8:32 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I feel the same way. My mom and dad split up so I see my mom more often. But I still love them both with all of my heart. I too wonder how I will deal with it.
    MLM0503

    Answer by MLM0503 at 8:37 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I lost my Dad almost 5 1/2 years ago. He was only 69 when he passed. He had alot of health issues, mainly because he was a lifelong smoker, but the cause of his death was liver failure. As far as dealing with the loss of a parent, you just do. Personally, I cried, felt anger toward death, toward God for taking my Dad, and threw myself into caring for my family and my job. I have great friends at my work place, and they all supported me so much! My DH was great too, he was my 'rock'. I don't know what it will be like when God calls my Mother, but I just hope and pray that I have all the support I did when Dad passed. I have a ticker on my homepage for my Dad, and on the heading of it, I wrote, "I miss you,Dad" because I do! You never get over losing a parent, but some days are easier than others.
    Robsmommy

    Answer by Robsmommy at 9:08 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • My bio dad is dying. He was never around growing up, but now he is very dear to me and is here now. His heart is bad. They are giving him a year. I have learned so much about who I am, and have been able to heal quite a bit, but when I think about getting the call from my sisters that he's gone...I just don't feel ready.
    Steff107

    Answer by Steff107 at 9:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • My dad passed away on August 21 from a heart attack. It was his second one, the first was in Nov. 2005. He had COPD and emphysema (sp?). He smoked 3-4 packs of cigarettes a day and retired from the steel mill after 30 years. Knowing how his health was didn't make his passing any easier for me. I was close to my dad. I was home alone when I got the news. It felt like someone kicked me in the gut and that time was moving in slow motion. I still miss him very much and little things will remind me of him and make me smile and cry at the same time. It's been hard for me to deal with the fact that I can't "vent" to him anymore on Yahoo messenger. The Westminster Dog Show is coming up and I don't know if I can handle watching it. Dad and I used to compare our picks. We'd done this since I was a kid. His birthday is March 19th and I can't message him. As hard as it is, I just take it day by day.
    offrdngal

    Answer by offrdngal at 9:38 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • i lost my mom to cancer when i was 16 and my younger brother was only 9 and he had his abusive alcholic dad though. my sister tried killing herself becouse of it and she had 2 kids to take care of. i had no were to go and everyone was fighting over our money we got from her being dead.they were literaly taking the checks out of each others mail boxes.it was crazy.i was the only one close to her but she got real mean toward the end and kept herself locked away from everyone.i dealt with it becouse i was thinking about my brother.it was hard.
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 9:46 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I was seventeen when my father was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. He lived for two months after the diagnosis. He died at home with all of us there. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life when I had to sit by him and tell him it was ok for him to go. He was holding on to life filled with pain because he didnt want to hurt us.We all had a little private time with him the day he died. I miss him everyday but with time it has gotten easier. We were very close. I do thank God that I got to say good bye to him the way I did though.
    katcb1019

    Answer by katcb1019 at 9:55 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

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