Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm a single 19 year old with a daughter, and herpes. I feel helpless..

I feel like no one will ever want me again once I tell them I have herpes, especially not guys around my age. I'm almost positive I will turn down invitations to go out from guys because I'm just too scared to tell them about my condition. A lot of guys are immature and I don't want them to tell their friends about it, because I live in a small town. I don't even know when I should bring it up. I'm so confused. Can anyone help me sort this out?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jan. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • My x boyfriend got herpes and he always meets other women with it too, so many have it these days...he says it's not that bad, you just have to not have sex for a few days when he has a breakout, like when a woman is on her period, when he first got it he was young, in his 20's and he had frequent breakouts, now he's 40 and never has them, it lessens as you get older. He never took medication but I know they have medication for it, check into it. You don't have to necessarily advertise it first thing into a relationship...use condoms....keep your partner safe...diet has so much more to do with it than people realize...keep yourself super healthy and avoid white sugar, take a multi, eat lots of fruits and veggies, take fish oil and Lysine is an amino acid that will keep herpes breakouts at bay. Good luck hun, more people have it than you know, you aren't the only one. 60% of the population has it. (((HUGS)))
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • I think the best thing is to concentrate on raising your daughter. NAd believe it or not, a LOT of peopel have herpes, and are just as scared as you to admit it. If you meet someone who REALLY truly cares about you and loves you and your baby, they wont care. There are precautions that can be taken....

    Life goes on with out sex.. it does. Really. Some people can not have it.... really.. But you still can. Just know that there is more to you than your va jay jay..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • unless u went out of your town, you got it from someone in your town. so u arent the only one. at least u are thinking about this seriously, and knowing that it will affect your future.
    i do want to say, the first thing you should be thinking of is your child. you shouldnt be caring about a man at this time. later on down the road, when you meet a guy- you will need to get to know him first. what if you find out hes a total ass, but you let him know about you? you need to make sure you are comfortable with him long before you think about sleeping with him. also, if he doesnt want to continue a relationship with you, then he wasnt the right guy.
    you shouldnt bring it up on the first date, or the second. depending on the situation, and how good you are getting along, if hes getting along with your child, etc, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:36 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • DONT FELL BAD WHEN I GOTTEN MARRIED ON JAN 7TH 16 YEARS AGO AND JAN 11TH MY SO CALL HUSBAND FRIEND CAME OVER THAT MOREING WHEN HE WENT TO WORK AND HIS FRIEND RAPED ME AND CALL THE POLICE AND THEY DIDNT DO ANT BUT TALK TO HIM AND LET HIM GO AND TOLD ME IT WAS HE SAID SHE SAID PULL SHIT THANG SO HE WENT FREE , BUT 5 MOUNTH LATER I FOUND OUT THAT FUCKER GAVE ME HERPES , GIRL I WANTED TO KILL HIM ! PUT I LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT , AND I KNOW HOW U FELL I DIDNT TELL ANY BODY BECIDES MY HUSBAND AND HE HAS IT , HE GOTTEN IT FROM ME BEFOR WE EVEN FOUND OUT THAT I HAD IT ! DO WHAT I DID DONT TELL ANY BODY BESOUSE WHEN U DO EVERY BODY IS GOING TO BE NASTY TO U ! DONT WORRY ABOUT IT ! ! JUST HOLD YOUR HEAD UP AND SMILL AND SAY TO YOUR SELF ( I LOOK GOOD AND IF NOBODY LIKE IT KISS MY BUTT ) I LOVE U JUST THE WAY U ARE ! !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on Jan. 23, 2010

  • Bring it up when you plan to have sex with someone and I'm hoping that person is someone you are ready to commit to. You'll weed out all the a%$holes easily. When you find someone that will accept you for who YOU are, they will understand it was something that happened when you were young.
    Vero0724

    Answer by Vero0724 at 1:54 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Take this time to focus on your child and your education. You can have a full life without a man.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:55 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I am a woman in my late 30's and I have herpes. The only difference is that I was married. My husband and I, both have had very spotty sexual histories, and one of us gave it to the other! There are many sites you can go on for support and dating. Herpes is more prevalant than you know, but at least, your aware of your diagnosis and willing to not spread it! Good luck :)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:01 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I'd date every one of the men that I wanted to. Just bc you date them doesn't mean you have to sleep with them. Get to know guys to be social. Then when you do find one you want to have a relationship with use a condom. He shouldn't have to ask why but if he does then that's the time to tell him. I live in a small town too and before I met SO I didn't date anyone from here. I don't like my business known either. I would meet guys online from other towns and go out with them. You have a lifetime ahead of you. Enjoy each day as it is even if it's just with you and your dd. Expand your horizons, go to college or pick up a trade and meet people just for the sake of meeting people. Don't rush into anything and for goodness sakes don't settle for someone that's not right just bc he might accept your situation.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:37 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN