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I'm thinkin of giving my almost 2 yr old up for adoption... help?

I'm young and just feeling like I can't handle him anymore he's almost 2 so it just makes this whole thing so much harder that's why i'm seeking advise on here about the whole thing... I love him to death and just feel so depressed all the time. I can't handle, I feel like I can't handle him. Everyone else loves him to death and tells me "I dunno how you doit he has more energy then any other child I know" I think it's my housing situation that's making him like this and making me feel this way but there's nothing I can do about that but try and get my life together and get out of here... I just want what's best for him and right now I believe being somewhere else for a few years would be what's best for him. I don't wanna give him up for good I just need time to get my life together then have him back. I just feel like i'm not ready to be a mom... Please advise??? Help???

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Jan. 24, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (54)
  • You can ask a close family member to take guardianship of the child. Or, if you are thinking just a short break would help relieve stress you can call your local CFS and ask to open a voluntary case.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:47 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • none of my family can take him i've already tried but tell me more about the cfs

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Sweetie there are hundreds of girls in the same situation as you. I would go to a close family member that is in a stable and healthy situation, that would be able to care for him, and see if they could take him for a while at least until you get on your feet. Make sure you are or will be able to visit him regularly though. It is really hard being a young mom, but remember you will get through it. You got this far with him, you can get farther. You just have to want to be his mommy and want what is best for him. It doesnt get any easier sad to say, but if you got this far sweetie you can go all the way. Just dont do something you feel you will regret later on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Here in California you can open up a voluntary case with CFS (aka CPS). They will put the child in a foster care setting but it's more on your terms. You take the break you need and decide when you are ready to have him back. They help you get services you might need. etc etc. This would only be temporary and short term.
    My mom did this with her youngest child. He was in the system for about 2 months but i think you can do it for longer if needed. or shorter if needed.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:55 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • You can talk with the Child Services and they can help you. Just give your local offices a call and they can give more info..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Oh. and you get visits and things too. it's not like you are just cut off.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:56 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • you haven't met my DD oldest DD has more energy then she knows what to do with....Bedtime is even an issue I am lucky to get her to go to bed before midnight which is going to be harder when she starts school this Aguest. Everyone tells me to let her run outside she will run off her enegry and go to bed easier for me, but she doesn't she can be outside running and playing hard from 10 in the am and let her out until 6 or 7pm and she still wont go to bed until midnight and she doesn't take naps either and wakes up at 7:30 every morning. I am also a SAHM so it makes it hard when I never get a break.

    I don't think I ever could give up one of my children so I probably am not the best person to ask for advice.

    Answer by mommy5409 at 1:56 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I did think about all the decisions i could of made abortion in my opinion is just wrong and i thought about adoption but i couldn't doit. I'm crying just thinking about the whole thing and trying to type this. He is my life I'm trying to be a good mom but i'm so overwhelled and depressed that's why i'm even thinkin about it. I'm a single 21 yr old mother i've been on my own with this from the start. His dad has other children and doesn't care about mine. My situation at home is emontionally abusive and i've got back problems and don't work. I'm on welfare and barley recive child support i'm just thinkin i need a break. just a few months off to get my own life back together then have him back, I really dunno where else to turn but the internet...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I think what you need are more resources. I'm assuming you don't have someone reliable to help out (ur mom, SO, family members). Look for resources, apply for assistance in food, housing, daycare. Go above and beyond, not just within ur family to find this help before deciding this is your ultimate decision. It isn't until you've contacted all resources available to young single mothers that you will feel that giving up your child truly is the best resource.

    I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Educate yourself before you make ANY decisions!

    Answer by Vero0724 at 2:00 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I think you need medication for the depression. If you truly love him as you say you do, I think giving him up "temporarily" would be an incredible mistake. Parenting doesn't work this way: "Give him up for a few years"'re either in or out. And if you are only partially IN, then you can really damage your son.

    You need help, probably in many forms: medication, financial help, babysitting, counseling, parenting classes, etc. So get it in any way you need to. Explore the social programs in your area and lean on friends and family as much as possible. Nobody knows what they are getting into when they decide to have children, and when you are young - this is especially true. I do know how you feel though...when my now 19 yo daughter was 1 1/2, I felt like I HAD to do the same. I look back and thank God I didn't have an "out" like some do today. I stepped up, got the public assistance that I needed & persevered. Ucan2!

    Answer by TLALONDE16 at 2:00 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

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