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My 4 yr old daughter has just started being fascinated by her private part. What can I do to prevent this?

She sometimes likes to rub against surfaces. It scares me when I see her doing this. She's aware that it shouldn't be happening but she keeps doing it. Help!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:23 AM on Jan. 24, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (11)
  • it a natural thing, and my daughter is 2 and does that. the best thing to do is not to discourage her from it, but rather tell her that it is something she needs to do in private.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 11:25 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Seriously.... do you remember your mother saying the same thing? HELL NO, because they didn't go around talking about it like you people do. It's totally natural... why the hell would you want to prevent it?? Now is the time to let her know she can go to her room and do that in private. OMG, you all are some sick parents... what the heck are you going to do when they do start masturbating... ALL HUMANS DO IT. Get over it... ignore it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:25 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!! It is a natural part of her development. Just let her know that she is to do that in private. Don't make her feel bad or dirty because she is doing something that is natural and feels good. You really need to just ignore it and move on.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:52 AM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • This is perfectly normal. First, make sure that she knows the names of her “private parts” vulva, vagina, etc.
    Next, let her know that this should always be done in private.

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:02 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Thanks everyone. I guess I just freaked out a lil. You're all right about not making her feel like it's a bad thing. I guess a feeling of pleasure goes to all ages and this is normal. Wow I was surprised at how quick my Q was answered. Thanks again. I can now handle it w/ more confidence.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I agree with the others that there's nothing wrong with it. However, while you're making sure she understands she should only do it in private, also make sure she understands that only she should do it. No one else should be allowed to do it to her.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • yes I agree once again w/ the other "anonymous" saying to let her know that nobody else should do it for her. I totally didn't think of that. Good looking out! Thanks again everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • What exactly are you scared of? That the said surface will get her pregnant?

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:03 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I don't know. I guess I'm just freaking out because I've never dealt with this kind of a thing b4. Of course it won't get her pregnant if you were trying to be smart about it. I mean, were you trying to be sarcastic or funny for that matter? I didn't post that to be ridiculed by you or anyone. I posted that question because I seriously didn't know what to do.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but I poked fun because you said it "scared" you... You're right that it shouldn't be a laughing matter -- at base, it's more sad than anything that sexuality is conceived as scary and shameful. But it's not your fault -- it's a cultural phenomenon, and it wasn't right for me to make fun of you when you are concerned for your daughter. Just try to remember that associating her feminine parts with any kind of shame or calling it "bad" or "naughty" can lead to psycho-sexual problems. You haven't done anything awful, just try to remember it's natural. Tell her the *real* name of the part and tell her that she can touch herself there in private -- in the bath, in her room -- but that it's not something we do, say, in a restaurant or with our friends. That's what she needs to learn.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Jan. 25, 2010

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