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Why are we not getting married?

This may seem like a silly question for me to be posting, but I'm just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation. SO and I have been together for 5 years, have a 17 month old daughter, bought a house last month- and still no proposal? Not even an inkling of interest in getting married? Yes, I understand we are already bound together for quite some time, but.. why does this happen?


Asked by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Jan. 24, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • I really don't know why you get all these hostile answers. Look around cafemom and you'll see just how many women are unhappy in their own marriages but yet they spew negative comments to someone that isn't married. I think you did the better thing because you've been together for awhile which proves you two can live together and you also had a child which changes a relationship dramatically and you two are still together. If you and your s/o are ready to move on to marriage, sit down and talk about it. In my opinion you both have already passed the tests to prove you are in it for the long haul which is what marriage is about.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:40 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Why get married? You're already living as a married couple.

    Answer by Aqua_Jen at 2:50 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • It happens because you didn't make it a priority. If he knew you wanted to be married before having sex and kids, you wouldn't be in this situation. So don't yell or anything. You asked.

    Answer by Pnukey at 2:50 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Because you didn't set the standard and he didn't have to ask you. You already slept with him, moved in with him, had a baby with him and he didn't have to ask you. You were willing to play the role of wife so he had no motivation to ask you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:51 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Have you two talked about marriage in the 5 years you have been together? Getting married doesn't just happen, unlike in the movies. It takes discussion.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • he may think that things are fine the way it is and why do something to change the status. maybe he is afraid that things will change if "marriage" happens. maybe talk to him about his feelings on marriage, see where he stands. marriage is just a piece of paper and a shared last name, it doesn't seem to hold the same meaning as it once used to.

    Answer by xtwilightx at 2:52 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • You never let it be known that you wanted to get married. I was very upfront with my husband when we were dating. If he wanted me around more than just weekends, that would mean me moving, if he wanted more children than we would have to live together. I would not do any of that without getting married.

    Answer by FL2AK at 2:54 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • that $40 marriage license will give you more than $10,000 of legal protections. If you see the value of being married, then tell him.

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:55 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • If you want to get married, ask him. Talk about it.

    If you are willing to live with him and have a child without a marriage, he might see it as it not mattering to you. If it really does matter, you will likely be the one to have to ask him.

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:55 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I did let it known that I wanted to be married- why does everyone jump to conclusions and give pushy responses? No, order didn't matter at all to me.. it's more than just a piece of paper and a shared last name to me, and yes we have talked about our future of being together (not necessarily being married)- he just doesn't seem ready.. and I'm not looking for bashing, just some people who may be in a similar situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Jan. 24, 2010