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Is her fiance being too controlling?

This girl I work with is getting married this summer and her man in my opinion is too controlling. He wants to go into her facebook and myspace. The other day he made her delete this guy she had been friends with for 2 years. Longer than him and her have been together. She is an intern where I work and this guy she deleted is our co-worker. He told her that's fine if she wants to delete him but she is becoming his property and slowing isolating herself.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:21 PM on Jan. 24, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • Probably, yes, but unfortunately, there is not much you can do about it. You can't fix other people's relationships and if you were to say that to her, she probably wouldn't leave him, just be mad at you. Or maybe she wouldn't be mad but she would tell him and he would ex-communicate you from her friendship too.
    Bellarose0212

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 4:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • IMO, yes, that's too controlling. If he wants to keep tabs on the other males she is talking to, even if they are just friends and not exes, then he is not trusting her, or has jealousy issues. And from what I've seen, not just in my own experience but in other's as well, when one person is acting like they can't trust the other, they are the ones who are untrustworthy. I went thru a r'ship like that... my ex would answer my cell phone, read my texts, and heaven forbid I want to spend time with my friends without him there. it got to the point where I had to ask to go visit my mother! he also accused me of sleeping with my male co-workers, meanwhile he was cheating on me from day 1! Your friend either needs to get her man into couple's therapy with her, or tell him to hit the bricks. The longer she is with him, the harder it will be to leave if things don't change.
    Koukla12905

    Answer by Koukla12905 at 4:26 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • sounds like it.. but my question is why is it your concern? What are you going to get out of this validation???? If you try to encourage your friend to leave him/etc. she is going to resent you and it is going to cause you problems in the friendship department and the workplace.. It is best to mind your own business. Offer support, lend an ear and worry about what is going on in your life ( we all have something!)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • She really isn't my friend. I am just curious if she is. It can help me in the future to watch out for the signs.

    ~OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:41 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Let her learn the hard way. Be there to support her, but don't intervene unless you see him getting abusive. Whatever you do, don't bring it up to her and then say you told her so. That will just cause problems. If she isn't setting boundaries with this guy and is doing everything he wants her to, then she's allowing herself to be controlled. Some women like that.
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 4:44 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Hi All, Many posts are correct... Stay out of it.... Some like to be controled, they feel this is "Love"..... Some like this to feel security... Many reasons, but, hopefully she changes her mind, sooner, than later.... Take Care, Donna....
    dobrd

    Answer by dobrd at 6:01 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Yeah some women DO like that kind of relationship and so do some men...she may be controlling aspects of his life as well, that's my guess...none of your business, imo.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • yes
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:13 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • It's hard to say based on just this one incident. I think most guys who are seriously considering taking a wife don't want her chatting with her old boyfriends or her giving the impression that she might still be available. If he is a controller, there would be plenty of other signs.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 6:28 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

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