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Are you "by the book" when it comes to your child's development?

Or do you allow them to learn things on their own time, at their own pace?

There was a post about this earlier. About if a child doesn't reach their mile-stones on time are they mentally incapable or is it the parents' fault? To me, it has nothing to do with parenting or the child's mental ability. It has to do with the child feeling comfortable and ready to take that step. No child is "by the book" they don't read the damn books that say when they're supposed to give up the bottle or when they're supposed to walk, when they're supposed to talk, etc. All that takes time and we shouldn't rush children to do certain things "on time" just because a damn book says that's when they're supposed to do it. Everyone learns at their own pace.

Answer Question

Asked by Imogine at 4:31 PM on Jan. 24, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,425 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • I have never read a book, children arent the only ones that learn at their own pase either. ADults do too. I just hate when people try to compare kids. It is so sad.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Maybe I should clarify I have never read a BABY book


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:33 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • nope,. we wrote our own book as we went along. and started a new one for each kid as they came along. #3 is WAY different than #1.

    I like to take a general look at it all and keep it in mind but I don't take it for gospel that my baby will walk at .....age, or talk at this age.

    my kids are grown (8,6 and 3) and still confuse the heck out of me at least once a day.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 4:33 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Another thing I hate too? Is when doctors compare your child's weight to the average weight of children these days. How is my child's weight relevant to someone else's child? Shouldn't they compare their weight and size to mine and my husband's weight and size when we were the same age? I think it would make more sense to compare "genes" and not the majority of everyone else's child's weight and size.

    Answer by Imogine at 4:37 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Where do I get the book?

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:45 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I agree, every child is different. As long as the child is steadily gaining and not losing, they should be fine. I've seen parents quit breastfeeding because their doc didnt think the breastfed baby compared right to the formula stats. My own baby was exclusively breastfed and vegan and was always huge, in the 98th percentile for height and weight. So, go figure.

    Answer by Bellarose0212 at 4:48 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • There are definitely some baby and child development books that I would NEVER listen to and think should be banned for that god awful information they that damn babywise book UGH. I think as a mother we should listen to our instincts, let our children learn at their own pace and not push then or compare them to others.


    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • I agree 100% .. I think as long as a child is moving forward in development and not making big backslides .. they're likely fine.

    I have read a few books.. but they've been mostly useless. Mainly they give conflicting and/or bad (especially breastfeeding) advice. lol

    Add to your list - I also see all the time "my 6/8/12 month old is waking up at night and my doctor said he/she should be able to sleep all night.. so I am just going to let them cry it out" I don't get it ... how do people equate 'should be able' with 'absolutely must' .. and how do folks rationalize it when half of them probably wake up hungry/thirsty/needing to pee a couple times themselves. Oh well. The book/doctor said it was a good idea, so it must be.. (doctors know everything always? thalidomide?) so let's just ignore the fact that every motherly intuition inside of you is screaming 'do not do this' - KWIM?!
    I just don't get it. *shrug*

    Answer by JamesAndMe at 5:11 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • Yeah, MY book!

    Answer by salexander at 5:12 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

  • My cousin had hearing problems and they only noticed because he wasn't going by "The Book"

    It's not always a bad thing.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:59 PM on Jan. 24, 2010

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